MY MOTHER'S LAP!!

My mother’s lap!!

My mind so often drifts,

To all those wonderful times,

When on my mother’s lap,

Daily I had long naps,

I peacefully slept in her arms,

Smitten by her charm,

She meant the world to me,

And she created for me, a dream world to see,

She recited a variety of tales,

About august kings and their palaces,

I would be so awed, I remember,

And I’ll plead for a story another,

But all I did was hurt her,

By crying and grumbling forever,

Whole night she then held me close,

To prevent me from being morose,

I was so mean to her,

I was nothing but a weed,

Yet she tolerated me, gave me shelter,

Her lap was heaven, indeed,

My mother’s love was unconditional,

To her, I was truly special,

Alas, I didn’t reciprocate,

And throughout her life, I made her wait,

Years passed by,

I just drifted apart from her,

She kept waiting for my love forever,

And one day, in her sleep, she died,

Now I wish I could go back,

To fulfil her dream,

To give her the love I did lack,

I now realize what a bastard I had been,

Slowly I am now being sucked deep,

Into the black hole of self-blame and grief,

Frantically, for her lap I search,

Alas, I can’t find it; I begin to weep……………………

p.s.. the poem's a work of fiction...my mother's alive!!...though what i said about her "lap" and "love" is true!!..cheers!!