THE ROOT CAUSE OF FEAR!!

The root cause of fear!!



Recently, in an interview, I was asked, “What is the root cause of fear?”
I said, “Undoubtedly, LOVE.”
The interviewers looked at me, skeptically, and said, “please justify.”
And thus I began………………
.


“There’s just no fear, when one has nothing to lose.” This is a maxim heard so often. And it’s probably, one of the very few ones that I find realistic and acceptable.


Have we ever wondered why we fear the terrorists or any other anti-social element, for that matter? Why do we fear our children travelling in crowded trains or buses? Why do we fear every time our children don’t return our calls or don’t reach home on time? Or why do we fear when our spouse is stressed about work? Why?


There’s a simple four-letter word that is, according to me, the root cause of all kinds of fear :: LOVE!


It is to be noted that LOVE is the root cause of fear, but it isn’t the cause of “phobia” or obsessive fears that are related to the psyche. Anyways, what makes me say that love causes fear? So, in order to combat fear, should we just not love anyone? Sounds strange! You must be wondering that, here are people trying to make us love mankind, and here I am, advocating just the opposite. But am I really advocating that? That’s a different question altogether, that isn’t much relevant here.


So, back to the statement I made earlier: “love is the root cause of the smallest of fears, to the greatest ! ”


Here are a few examples that make me think so ::


Consider a guy in love with a girl. He “fears” asking her out. He “fears” calling her up daily, though he wants to, because he “fears” that she’ll know that he loves her. Every morning, he “fears” that someone else has proposed to her and that she’s gone forever. Now suppose, the guy gets the girl. Then he starts “fearing” that her parents would come to know, his parents would come to know, and their relationship wouldn’t last. What does this tell? “love causes fear.”. now suppose, the guy doesn’t get the girl. Leave apart the pain of heartbreak, but at least, there’s no fear. He doesn’t “fear” texting her or calling her daily because there’s nothing to lose. And that takes me back to the first statement of my answer, “there’s just no fear when one has nothing to lose.”


Now here’s a story depicting mother-child love, and of course, the resulting fear. A child travels by train daily, and suppose, we are talking about few days post-7/11 when mutiple blasts had rocked the city of mumbai. A mother wants her child to give her a “miss-call” everytime he reaches college. And the child is an adult who can take care of oneself, yet there’s “fear” in the eyes of his or her mother. The security has been beefed up in the city and every one knows that the trains would not be targetted again. Yet, there is “fear.” The same scenario is applicable to all those wives whose husbands travel for work and vice-versa. The “fear”, though unnecessary, exists because “love” exists.


No one cares if some unknown person dies. This is evident by the apathy shown by people whenever they see someone dead on the road. There’s, obviously, a moment’s prayer but more importantly, it results in “fear”…fear that their loved ones too, could meet the same fate. Isn’t that why every mother wants her child to drive cautiously? There’s fear, because there’s love.


This was all about the small, mundane fears. Let’s look at the larger picture. We fear our country being attacked because we love our country. We fear the anti-social elements, not because we “hate” them, but because we “love” our country. It may be safe to say, that in this case, even the root cause of “fear” of the terrorists, “fear” of hijacks, fear of bomb-blasts, “fear” of loss of national integrity, is “love” for the country, “love” for the people, “love” for mankind.


And I concluded, emphatically with the statement, “ Thus, I say, love is the root cause of all kinds of fears. Hence, proved and justified.”..............




P.s… Luckily, the panel didn’t have any counter-question in mind and blindly accepted my hypothesis, but I am sure, you have. Each one of you has a right to question my thinking, and counter my opinions that I have put forth here. There’s just one condition:: You need to give me an answer along with a simple, logical explanation (please note, do not give me psyche related answers, coz we are talking about fears, not phobias) to the most frequently asked question, “WHAT CAUSES FEAR?”

LIKE A PILLOW, LIKE A RUG!!

Like a pillow, like a rug!!

I say this, as I give her a hug,

"I don’t know how to start,

For me, you are like a pillow, like a rug,

You reside deep in my heart,

I don’t remember how I fell,

In love with you,

Or what attracted me towards you,

I just can’t tell,

It wasn’t at all planned,

All of a sudden, it happened,

I had met you by coincidence,

And my love for you grew, every fleeting instance,

Each day I woke in the morning,

With a new dream about you,

I wanted to spend my entire day with you,

And that feeling sure was exciting,

I thought about countless ways,

Of proposing to you,

But I kept delaying it by days,

And eventually for accepting it, I thank you,

In your company, twelve years have gone,

There were moments tense too,

But our love was true,

And effortlessly, we hung on,

In the world of pain and darkness,

You are the only light to me,

You enlighten me, you enliven me,

And make me smile even in distress,

Do not lose sight of me ever,

I want to be with you forever,

Just don’t let go of this hug,

You are my pillow, you are my rug…………"

JUST NOT MADE FOR EACH OTHER!!

Just not made for each other!!

It was nice to meet you,
It was nice to know you,
But we can’t have a future together,
We are just not made for each other,

I know you love me,
And it’s deeper than the sea,
Or bigger than the universe,
And growing with every passing instance,


I know you’ll make me smile,
You won’t let me be sad, even for a while,
But we can’t have a future together,
We are just not made for each other,


I know you must be wishing,
You had a magic wand,
But towards you, I don’t have any romantic feeling,
I do hope you’ll understand,


Always remember, this isn’t the end,
It’s a fresh beginning,
Of a new chapter, of a new inning,
And I hope you’ll soon get a girlfriend,


You are truly a nice guy,
Don’t blame your luck please,
One instance of bad luck shouldn’t make you cry,
Life’s long, your happiness will not cease,


It’s all about withstanding the pain,
So please don't lose hope, keep believing,
There are enough girls waiting,
You’ll get another chance, to fall in love again,


Some things won’t go your way,
But life’s all about living,
With a renewed hope and energy everyday,
That’s how you make this journey magical and exciting………

DON'T WORRY, I'LL ALWAYS BE NEAR!!

Don’t worry, I’ll always be near!!

I hate you shedding even a single tear,
So please smile,
And drift your mind to,
All the memories happier,
When it was just me and you,
And you’ll feel better, at least for a while,


Do you remember you said once,
You hate and dread silence,
So why aren’t you talking,
And please don’t worry,
Our love will last till eternity,
Just keep believing,


Even if you won’t see my sight,
I assure you, it’ll be all right,
Two years will go faster,
Than you really think,
I’ll be back sooner,
Than you really think,


Who the hell says,
Long distance relationships don’t work,
Baby, we’ll make it work,
Coz we are different,
And remember I am just yours,
And I’ll be, forever and always,


We are meant to be together,
And nothing can stop us dear,
From being in arms of each other,
So don’t be so morose,
Coz I’ll be near,
Holding you close,


Tonight when we physically part,
I want to see you smile,
From your eyes, from your heart,
That’ll prove we’re special,
And we’ll make the next two years,
Look undoubtedly, ephemeral,


We will talk for hours everyday,
And days will pass quickly,
I’ll be back fast,
You just don’t worry,
Our love will last,
Till the end, come what may,


So, my love, give me one last kiss,
And don’t shed a tear,
Coz I’ll always be near,
You’re the one I am going to miss,
But it’ll be all right, don’t worry,
Our love is true; it’ll last till eternity………

I AM A FAILURE!!

I am a failure!!

“I am a failure!” is a cliche heard so often,

It irritates me, makes me want to run,

Away from all those poor children, who,

Keep calling themselves the unlucky few,

Why do they feel down,

Why, on their faces, is a constant frown,

They appear always so dejected,

And think it’s the end of the world if once they failed,

Parents got to realize this,

Their children aren’t some machine,

They need to expect less,

And not be obsessed about their child’s success,

Parents get frustrated and say,”You are  a failure!”,

Though in reality, their children are not,

Who the hell are friends, family and peer,

And to call one a failure, what right have they got,

Alas, we are a redundant society,

Full of preconceived wrong notions,

Why do we want our children to become a doctor or an engineer,

Isn’t there anything else that is no less inferior,

Alas, we are a redundant civilization,

Where marks are just about everything,

There is no scope for innovative creating,

As down the drain, go the children of our nation,

“I am a failure” is all these poor kids can say,

And they feel ahead, there’s no way,

Suicide seems to be the last resort,

And to our society is added, yet another blot,

When will the elders grow,

When the child psychology they’ll know,

When will they comprehend,

And when from their rigid nature they’ll bend,

Countless examples lie in front of us,

Of famous personalities who were once called,

A failure by each one of us,

Are now an epitome of success and a demi-God,

Yet elders don’t realize,

They just don’t perceive,

They keep making demands from their children,

Pushing them to the threshold of burden,

I am not an expert in child psychology,

But I understand children’s needs,

 So let us not trouble these poor kids,

And let them spread their wings freely……………….

p.s…. if still I haven’t been able to convince you to support your children to pursue their dreams, then I guess, “I AM A FAILURE!!”

LET US COME CLOSER!!

Let us come closer!!

You are the one my heart seeks,
You are the one to whom my mind drifts,
Every moment, every hour,
It really doesn’t matter where you are,


Nothing is perfect, but with you,
My life could be, coz my love is true,
So let us come closer,
Coz we can make it a journey to remember,


With you, I dream of,
Visiting places I’ve never heard of,
I dream about you smiling,
And enjoying, and laughing,


I dream about going to the beach,
Where we had first met,
I want to watch the beautiful sunset,
And count the stars out of our reach,


I dream of texting you,
Daily, many a romantic messages,
I dream of forever, living with you,
And creating many a wonderful memories,


Since I learnt driving,
In my car, I dream about,
Taking you, so often, out,
On a long ride; it would be the best feeling,


I dream about marrying you,
And having cute babies with you,
So let us come closer,
Coz we can make it a journey to remember,


I dream about many future days,
When you’ll perhaps even be shopping in my company,
I won’t criticize you for your shopping ways,
Coz I just want to see you happy,


Dreams are endless,
My love is undoubtedly, bottomless,
So, let us come closer,
Coz we can make it a journey to remember…………

"PRIPU" AND "DUMBO"!! The story of my life!!

“PRIPU” AND  “DUMBO”!!

                               The story of my life!!

Ø introduction

               Hey, I am Neil. I am an engineer.  Well, it’s a different story altogether that I don’t know a thing about engineering.  First of all, sorry for such a fuck-all title for my autobiography. Well, the “dumbo” is me. And as for “PRIPU”, well, keep reading, folks!..By the way, i assure you, I haven’t thought of this strange title keeping “bunty aurr bubli” or “raam aurr shaam” or “Raja aurr Rancho” or any other such name in mind. My title is original. Anyways, why am I blabbering? And what the hell am I saying?...well, it does prove one thing, people are right..“I am a dumbo”!!

                 I have shown glimpses of my “dumbo”-ness already, I guess. Here’s the history behind it :  This nickname wasn’t actually given by one of my college friends. But once PRIPU inadvertently asked me, “Cmon, tell me some of your weirdest nicknames”. And dumbo that I am, I told them “well, a friend of mine calls me dumbo..but please, DON’T call me by that name, please, please”. I guess, they didn’t hear the “don’t” and that’s how “dumbo” became an universal nickname for me.

               In case you are wondering who PRIPU is, well, they are two people actually. Priyank and Puja, my best friends, and like me, engineers too. It’s a norm to take lovers’ names in a single breath. But in case, you are a “dumbo” like me, I’ll tell you explicitly: priyank and puja are dating, officially,  for the past 3 years. Well, they did seem smitten by each other since the day I first saw them, and I always knew that they’ll end up together. Wow, I should have been an astrologer! Anyways, that takes my mind to the first day of college, what a day that was!!

              No,I am not gonna describe that day. My story isn’t like “five point someone” where three strangers see each other naked during a ragging incident, and that’s how they become friends. Here, things are different coz one of us is a girl. That’s a different scenario that I would have loved to see Puja naked. Damn! What the hell am I talking about? Sorry, priyank. I am just kidding.

           If you are wondering that I am going to write about my college life, how the three of us used to hang out and all, watching movies, eating at all the roadside stalls at every possible opportunity ,then you are mistaken again.  

              If you are wondering that I’ll be discussing poor grades, assignments and the boring and cumbersome engineering life, again, you are wrong.

          So what’s my autobiography actually about?...it’s about love. It’s about “pripu”. I am merely a “side hero” in this story. So, bascially it’s not an autobiography. Sorry for being a “dumbo” to mention the word “autobiography” in the first place.  

             PRIPU are the real actors. The story is about them, PRIYANK and PUJA. Well, don’t read it as “priyanka and puja”. These people are “straight”, and just to clarify, so am I.

        Really sorry for my cheap sense of humour…The tale begins finally...

Ø  CAT OR GRE??

             Three semesters had gone so fast, I didn’t even realize it. Time just went by in the company of PRIPU. We even went to Goa, just the three of us. Just one girl going with two guys. It’s india!! Sounds strange but actually, it wasn’t a tough task to ask puja’s parents for permission. Her dad just said one thing, “take good care of her. She’s my princess”. As if, it wasn’t just a trip and that priyank was gonna marry her the next day. Well, he might have married her too. Unfortunately, our goa trip was before they started dating, so we shared a single room.Had we gone now, well, we would have had to rent two rooms, for obvious reasons. Anyways, let me not dwell too much into that!!

                  Come sem 4, and the question inadvertently pops up in every to-be-engineer’s head, CAT or GRE? MBA or MS? Well, there are a few people who say, “I want to do neither. I want to do a job”, but due to peer pressure or insecurity, even they pick one of those. The same issue propped up during one of PRIPU’s dates. And how do I know about that conversation, well, I was there too! Strange, isn’t it? But I have accompanied them on many dates.i sometimes, feel embarrassed to be “kebab mein haddi” (translation, I hate disturbing their privacy)..But puja says, “friends come first”. So here I am, on a PRIPU date, yet again!!

                             It was their sixth moni-versary. If you are wondering what’s that, I’ll tell you.  Anniversary stands for annual or yearly . So obviously, moniversary will stand for monthly. And to celebrate, we had gone to an expensive restaurant, somewhere in Bandra. And the best thing was that, priyank was paying. He usually paid for puja, but whenever I accompanied them, he paid for me too. I love that guy!

               We were eating the most exotic of dishes and PRIPU just didn’t let me eat. They kept bugging me about my “love-life” which unfortunately, had never taken off. Yeah, it’s true, it’s really tough to accept the bitter truth. I had been single for the past nineteen years of my life, and almost everyday, puja kept telling me, “I’ll find a girl for you”.. and each day, I keep telling her the same thing, ”there’s someone pre-written for everyone. There’s nothing to hurry. I’ll be lucky too, someday.” What crap! The truth was that I was desperately seeking someone, who I could call my own, to whom I can send those “lovey-dovey” smses that I had once seen on priyank’s cell phone.

              That day was no different! They kept bugging me and I quickly changed the topic, “what are your plans after B.tech? GRE Or CAT?” Shit, that wasn’t supposed to be said.. So far, we had never talked about studies outside college. That was an unwritten law, and tonight I had broken that. But I guess, they didn’t realize this and they replied, instead of reprimanding me.

           “I haven’t thought about it” priyank said. How predictable! Priyank, the cool guy, how can he plan about the future?

            “and you?”

            “I’ll do M.S, rather I am planning to do M.S.” Puja said.

                        Puja, the topper of the class, the girl who plans every damn thing, even the smallest of things. I sometimes, wonder, how did PRIPU get together?..i mean, they are so different. I guess, it’s true, love is a strange phenomenon. Opposites do attract!

                       
                          I wanted to do an MBA, and that too from one of the IIM’s. Well, how can a “dumbo” like me get into the IIM’s?  But there isn’t anything wrong in dreaming, is there?

               That’s when a strange thought creeped into my mind. I tried to shake it off, but I just couldn’t, the thought lingered.How could I imagine such a dreadful thing? This would shatter our lives. I tried arguing with myself. I am so wrong, I have to be! I looked at the duo. And I was convinced, that thought was a false alarm. Yes, I have to be wrong.

                 But unfortunately, for a change,I was right. I never imagined, that a small thought that night would change our lives, a few years down the line. After all, it was just a thought! A small, insignificant thought!

Ø The biggest shock!!

             The statement below was the biggest shock of my life, undoubtedly.

 “let’s join T.I.M.E” Priyank said, and I stopped jogging, bewildered.

                    We had just completed our sem4 exams, and it was jogging time. It was Priyank’s idea to jog at 7 on a fine, Sunday morning. Puja was smart to say “no”. But being the “ideal friend” that I called myself, I fell into the trap and here I was, jogging at juhu beach with this fitness-freak.

“What the…..?”I replied, still astonished at what I had just heard.

      

              Well, don’t be shocked at my reaction. I am not exaggerating. Throughout the semester, priyank never showed any inclination towards doing an MBA. He was still “thinking”.

                  Puja, on the other hand had already joined K.P Singh, a renowned teacher for GRE coaching.

“ I didn’t know you are gonna do MBA. When did you decide?”

“now, while jogging”

“what, you kidding, right?”

“well, no dumbo. I am not”

                I hated being called dumbo, but I guess, the name had by then, become an inseperable part of my life.

“ok, cool…let’s join today itself” I asserted.

                And so we joined. When Puja heard the news, she was shocked. I am not surprised with her reaction.  Well, she knew I was gonna join T.I.M.E, the best management training institute, but Priyank’s decision came as a surprise to her. She just couldn’t stop laughing.

                  By the way, have I told this before that she has a great smile and it’s a delight to see her laugh.  Someone has rightly said, smile is perfect when it emanates from one’s lips, reflects into the eyes and ends with a glow on the face. Such a smile puja had.

                  Puja, the perfect woman! She has the perfect set of teeth. Well, not just teeth, she’s perfect. Beauty with brains. She’s a star, absolutely!! There are times I seriously wonder, when the hell will I get a girlfriend? Whenever that would be, one thing’s for sure, I want a girlfriend exactly like puja. Well,I now know what you’re thinking. Just to clarify,  I don’t have a crush on puja. And no, I am not lying too.

             Anyways, back to the story. In two weeks time, our classes started and thus began the worst phase of our lives. Soon it would be time to slog. It would be time to burn our asses’. After all, CAT AND GRE were undoubtedly the toughest exams in the whole world, for post-graduation courses.

              According to me, the toughest thing was that, at T.I.M.E, there would be no Puja to help us out here, to bug us to concentrate at what the lecturer was speaking, or to solve our difficulties. Priyank and I were alone, and this would definitely, make the journey tougher, I had perceived.

           K.P Singh and T.I.M.E had successfully managed to separate three best friends and more importantly, two lovers. And that was the greatest crime in the whole world!!

Ø The calendar!!

    

                   July has always been my most favourite month of the year. In case you haven’t guessed it already, my birthday comes in July. I love dreaming about all the gifts that I would get on my birthday. Priyank and puja had always managed to surprise me, somehow. Till the very end, I could never guess what I am going to get on my birthday. Last year, they gifted me a pendrive, which was very sweet of them coz I had none. But that birthday, I got 3 pendrives coz, even some of my other friends knew I had none. This definitely,proves one thing, when it rains, it pours!!

                This birthday too, the scene was no different. I just couldn’t guess PRIPU’s gift till the very end. But this time, the gift turned out to be a bit more educational. It was a reminder that we have to study for CAT and for that, we need to have command over our vocabulary. So, here I was, a proud owner of “GRE flash cards”. Wow! It made me feel like a geek,  that too, on my birthday!

                     I had always detested people mugging words, in the library, in the train, even in the canteen. Come on, spare the canteen, at least. It’s a holy place! There’s an unwritten rule, Never multitask while you are eating. Food must always be eaten in peace!  But anyways, I had to start mugging some words too, and for this, PRIPU acted as a catalyst.

                   Months went by. It was the second week of october now. PRIPU and I, had included an hour of “vocab building session” in our schedule every Saturday. We met, mostly at puja’s place where we “planned to study” words. But in life, nothing ever goes to plan. We had been doing this ritual, meticulously for the past two months, ever since I got those flash cards, and yet we were still stuck at the word “apocalypse”. The last word was “zephyr” which seemed light years away. “Apocalypse”, even the “flash cards” reminded us that we were going to be doomed!!

                    I looked at the calendar. Puja too, looked at it, at the same time.

  “I’ll be giving GRE next september. It’s less than a year away.” Puja said, a bit crestfallen.

                   That made me realize, we were going to give CAT, next November, which is also closer than it appeared. By the way, let me reveal a secret here. Unlike puja,  I had looked at the calendar just to see when the next public holiday was. It was an open secret that I hated college, I hated waking up early.

                  The calendar was an eye-opener for us. We realized, if we had to fulfil our dreams, we had to slog. It was time to burn our asses’.

                   The next twelve months were hell. We had college throughout the day, followed by classes in the evenings. The weekends too were spent studying. We hardly watched movies. Whenever we met, after initial conversation about general stuff, our minds eventually drifted towards studies and the rest of the meeting turned out to be monotonous. I wonder if PRIPU even went on dates nowadays.

                     It was tough, but we didn’t have a choice. It’s not that the friendship was affected. It was just that the way of celebrating friendship had changed. The “bowling” on Friday afternoons had changed into “solving quant problems”. The hours spent at CCD or McD had suddenly, changed into reading essays for RC (reading comprehension) at puja’s house. We had transformed into a bunch of nerds. And that unfortunately, gave me a new nickname, “NEIL, the nerd”. (I had a tough time choosing between dumbo and the nerd. I hated both these nicknames, equally)

                  Anyways, today’s the 31^st of October. CAT was just in a couple of weeks’ time. We were hardly bothered about our sem7 engineering exams,though not puja. She was a free bird now and she was even studying for her engineering exams. Priyank and I, on the other hand, were pored into our CAT books. Our aim was just to pass sem7. That’s it! No expectations, whatsoever.

                      By the way, “the free bird”  had already given her GRE and as  I had foretold, she had got a whopping score of 1560. No one could beat that, I guess.  She’ll definitely get one of the top colleges. MIT or stanford. She’s the best. She’s perfect. And I was very happy for her!

                        We were excited for her and tense about ourselves. Life, at times forces us to portray an array of emotions, at the same time. And this was a classic example.

                          CAT was nearing with every passing moment. Time would soon tell, whether our efforts have been successful or not. We could do nothing but wait and watch…..!!!!

Ø The “conference”!!

                          My lovely dream was cut short by the irritating sound of a phone-call. “Hello, dumbo, wake up. Don’t you want to celebrate?” It was Puja.

                    Priyank and I had given our CAT the previous day. The exam went better than expected, and we were both hoping for a call from at least one of the IIM’s. And yeah, puja was right. It was indeed, celebration time.

                  “You go with priyank alone. I am not coming. Let me sleep dear. I am too tired to come today.”

“by the way, I called you six times already. What the hell you doing?”

“ can’t a poor guy sleep in peace?”

“have you even seen the time?”

                         Gosh, it was 1 pm. I had slept at midnight. 13 hours!!!  This was the first time I had slept for so long. And Puja was right in being pissed off at me.

                There was a momentary beep on my phone.

“Hey, Puja, even priyank’s calling. Let’s “conference” “

                   

                       Conferencing was my most favourite feature, that I liked about the cell phone. It allows multiple persons to talk at the same time. It does help in bringing life into the phone conversations. Conferencing was a daily routine that PRIPU and I have been doing since we got to know each other. It’s the best part of our friendship, and the most memorable part too.

                     My mind immediately drifted to a  day in the past, when as usual, priyank, puja and I were “conferencing.”

                  “It’s almost 12. We have to get up early tomorrow. I am hanging up now. Bye” We had been talking continuously since 9.30, and to be frank, my hand was paining holding the phone in my hand. Also, I am one of those who believe in sleeping early.  And so I hung up.

                  I was fast sleep when my phone rang again. It was Priyank. “Bloody bastard,” I said, in my mind, as I picked up the phone, clearly pissed off at him.

  “hello” I said, In an irritating voice.

“guess what happened?”

“dude, I am not in a mood to play games here. So get to the point.”

  “sorry, anyways, you wouldn’t believe what happened”

                     I hated this trait of Priyank. He didn’t care about my emotions. Here was a man wanting to sleep and here’s the other guy who was hellbent at giving me hypertension.

                  After what seemed like an eternity, priyank finally blurted,

“I am committed now. Puja and I are going on our first date tomorrow.”

“this isn’t the correct time to make jokes. I was sleeping. Can’t u understand, you fucking insomniac?”

“hey, I am not kidding. After you hung up the phone………..”

        

                        And priyank told me everything. I was shocked. I didn’t know what to say. Priyank and puja, a couple!! Wtf! The only couples I had seen, so far, apart from my parents, were those seen canoodling at bandstand.

                 Anyways, here are the excerpts from the conversation between puja and Priyank ::

Puja to priyank: “why did dumbo hang up?”

Priyank to puja: “his dad must have come in his room. You know what happened to him a few days back?”

“who can forget that? Imagine no phone for two weeks.” (my dad had confiscated my cell because, according to him, I spent too much time on the phone)

“by the way, saw F.R.I.E.N.D.S today?”

“yup, how can I forget that?” (the three of us watched FRIENDS daily on star world at 7 pm)

“I missed that today. My sister wanted to watch some silly cartoon.”

“hehe”

“so tell me, what happened today? Did chandler propose?” (it was the last episode of season 6)

“yes, he did. It was so romantic. Candles and all. I want someone to propose to me in that way. So even if I don’t love him, I might say “yes” just because he proposed”

“yeah, that reminds me. I wanted to ask you something, would it be weird for you to date a friend. I mean, for example, you know what happened with joey and rachel, right?” (At the same time, Z café showed season 10 where joey and rachel try to have sex, but they can’t coz they are such great friends. And they feel awkward. That episode was one of the most hilarious ones I’ve seen)

“it won’t be weird. Take monica and chandler for example.”

“let’s date, just for fun. I mean, just casual. I want to experience dating. And we are almost 19, still single. So??”

“wouldn’t it be weird? I mean, you know what I mean, right?”

“it won’t be weird. And anyways, you won’t ever find a boyfriend more romantic than me”

“stop praising yourself. But are you sure you want to do this?”

“let’s give it a try.”

“okay, boyfriend.”

“by the way, when Dumbo comes to know about this, he’s sure to be shocked.”

“yeah, we’ll tell him in college tomorrow.”

“no, wait. Let’s wake him up now.”

“you do the favours. I’ll better sleep now. Don’t want my phone to be confiscated too.”

“ok, bye, good night.”

“good night……..my sweetheart”

“I love you too”

                         

                         When I heard it from priyank’s mouth, I initially thought he was kidding. This looked like a scene from some movie. This can’t be true. But next day, I confirmed the story from puja. And yeah, it was true!! I was glad I had hung up the phone that day. Some love stories are extra-ordinary and unbelievable. And this was surely the beginning of one of those, I was sure.

Back to the present day now:

“hey, puja. Even priyank’s calling. Let’s “conference.”

          And so we did, for another two hours. I hadn’t even brushed my teeth and here I was, talking with my best buddies, priyank and puja, or “PRIPU”.

Ø When dreams come true……..!!

    Dreams!!

Dreams have countless meanings,
They give us wings,
They are a new beginning,
Of a new inning,


Dreams will come true,
We have to be patient,
We have to be persistent,
And keep trying till they eventually do,


Dreams give a new energy,
A new enthusiasm to many,
They give a new direction,
To our thinking, to our motion,


We all love to daydream,
But we don’t ever strive hard,
To fulfill them, be a winner,
We just sit back; a retard,


It’s futile dreaming,
If there’s no process,
Of realizing it, of fulfilling,
And climbing the ladders of success,


We all should have big dreams,
As through them we’ll know,
What our life really means,
As in them, the seeds of our future we sow……

             

                            By the way, in case you are wondering who has written such a wonderful poem, that too in such a lucid jargon, well, it’s “Priyank, the poet”.  This is just one of the many poems, that he has written.

                              And apart from all such general poems, every week, he writes a poem for Puja.  How romantic!  I have already made a pact with the “romantic poet”, that when I fall in love, I’ll be asking him to lend me some of his most romantic compositions. That’s for sure!

                          It’s indeed, a special feeling when all our sweetest dreams come true. Yes, Lady Luck had smiled upon us. Both priyank and I, got calls from all the IIM’s except IIM-A.  We, then had to got through a series of interviews. The phase was tough. At times, it drove me crazy. But priyank’s poem motivated me.

“Dreams will come true,
We have to be patient,
We have to be persistent,
And keep trying till they eventually do,”

                  

                  And we made it. I got selected in IIM-B (indian institute of management, bangalore) and he got admission in IIM-C (indian institute of management, calcutta). Our dreams had come true!

                   That wasn’t all. Puja got in one of the most prestigious institutes of the USA, Stanford university. That makes me say, when it rains, it pours.

                  It was the happiest phase of our lives. Stanford,IIM-B, IIM-C . We just couldn’t have asked for more. There are times in life, when you feel closer to God. You feel you have achieved something phenomenal. We were smiling, we were laughing. Someone has rightly said, laughter has no bounds when the joy is real.

                   But there was a tinge of sadness too. The three of us were going our separate ways. It would no longer be “pripu and dumbo” together:: it would be priyank , puja and dumbo…..and that realization brought tears in my eyes! I’ll miss them!

Ø Some tense moments!!

“It was time to part,

I realized it deep in my heart,

I’ll miss you both,

Every moment henceforth,”

              It was the last day of our togetherness. We had spent the last three days together. But today, I didn’t accompany them. I wanted them to spend “quality time” with each other without me interfering them.  As I look back, I regret my decision. Had I gone, I could have prevented the dreadful crime, the biggest mistake from happening. But it’s too late now!

                                         It was 7 p.m. Priyank and I were going to bit a formal adieu to her at the airport.                Her flight was scheduled to depart at 2.30 am. I tried calling priyank’s cell phone but it was switched off. I called up on his landline too but no one picked that up as well. What could be wrong?

                                        I called puja. She seemed to be in a hurry, and her voice sounded different.

“hey, puja, done with packing?”

“yeah, just checking whether I have packed everything.”

“is priyank with you? His cell is switched off”

“nah. I came back home at 5.”

“okay. Anyways how did your date go? Did you guys do anything special?”

               There was no answer for the next few seconds.

“hello, puja. You there?”

“yup.”

“so tell me, how did it go?”

“we broke up.”

“WHAT? “

“yup. We broke up. We decided that it won’t work. Long distance relationships just don’t work. It was a practical decision”

                             I had sensed that somehow. That’s why I was acting nervous the whole day today. Do you remember the “small, insignificant thought” that I had, on their six moniversary? It was the same (about their break-up in case puja goes to the US) .I had thought about it a lot and had tried to convince myself that they are different. They’ll make even a long distance realtionship work. But I was wrong.

                         We keep saying, so often “long distance relationships just don’t work.” That’s true, because we don’t want to make them work. We don’t try. We break up and then we just drift apart. Practicality triumphs over love in real life. In movies, things are different. Actors do break up but they eventually re-unite at the airport or in someone’s marriage or some thing.

                         It takes a moment to change everything. And this was one of those.

“why didn’t you give it a shot? It could have worked. Come on, it’s PRIPU.”

“ It’s the right decision. It’ll hurt for some time, I know. But time heals everything.”

“just tell me one thing, would you be able to fall in love again?”

“yes.” Her tone was defiant, and I felt, it was better to not press the topic anymore.

I asked her one last question, “where’s priyank now? And why the hell is he not picking up the phone?”

“he said he needed some time alone.”

          I feared the worst, “did he show any suicidal tendency?”

“no, he was fine. He said he’ll meet me at the airport at 11.”

“okay, I’ll see you there. Bye.”

“bye”

                   I had seen many a romantic climax at the airport. I really wished they would re-unite. I really hoped that.

                 And then I prayed……for priyank’s safety and for ”PRIPU”!!

Ø The airport!!

                        In life, we keep dreaming of finding our soulmate some day. And yet, we lose our soulmate in one impulsive decision, one mistake, in just one moment.

                                 I was sitting with puja and priyank, in the cafeteria, inside the airport premises, but outside the check-in counter. It was the last twenty minutes that we were going to spend together. There was complete silence. No words were spoken but our eyes said it all.

                          I tried to break the ice. I took my coffee mug in my hand and raised a small toast, “ this is for our friendship. I’ll miss you a lot. But today I promise that we’ll meet soon. The first day puja returns to india. Cheers!!..........Till we meet again…………..”

                        Twenty minutes passed by. It was time to part. Puja’s father was waiitng for her with her passport. It was time to collect the boarding pass. It was time to check-in.

                         “I’ll miss you” I said, hugging her, so tightly that it almost choked her.

“ I’ll miss you too. And stop being a “dumbo” in the IIM’s”

                    I smiled, meekly and said, “I’ll try.”

                         Puja and priyank hugged too, though there was a strange look on their faces. No words were said. At least, I was happy they had parted amicably or what is commonly known as “mutual consent”.

                           As I looked at them, I repeatedly told myself.. ”Throughout the last four years, you kept calling me “Dumbo”. But tonight,  you are the biggest “dumbo”’s in the whole world”……………………

Ø Epilogue:

                   Marriages are made in heaven. God has written a  unique love story for each one of us. Sometimes the story has twists and turns but then we do love adventures, don’t we?

                  It’s been seven long years since I had met my best friends, and tonight was the grand re-union, that too, on the auspicious occasion of a wedding. My wedding reception!

                    Unlike what I had predicted, it wasn’t an arranged marriage for me. I had found the love of my life at IIM-B,  Trisha. She was everything that I had imagined In my dream girl. And I was happy, elated. Why wouldn't I be?

                     Puja had settled in the U.S. She had found herself a nice NRI businessman, karan. And now they had a two year old child too, vedant. Puja had e-mailed me his pics. And I must say, he’s very cute. After all, like mother, like son! Puja had put on a bit of weight, but then after marriage, who doesn’t?

                     Priyank was working in Goldman Sachs in London. He was engaged, to Alisha, his colleague at Goldman Sachs. And the best part was that, there would be no “distance problem” in their relationship. I hope they get married soon and have kids, before priyank loses his libido. Hey, just kidding, man!!

                      “hey, dumbo,  good to see you. Wish you a happy married life”

“thanks , puja.Karan didn’t come? How’s vedant? Boy! Look at you, you’ve grown fat.”

“ I am still thinner than you are”

               I hated that taunt of hers but I was so glad to see her. I introduced her to trisha, who was elated to have finally met puja. I had always told trisha stories about puja and priyank and she was desperate to meet them. At least, she met one of them today.

                 Just then a man, wearing the most expensive of suits walked in. Boy, he looked like brad pitt.

“is that priyank?” trisha asked.

“yes. That’s him, the cool dude, “priyank, the poet” "

                 There were more than 500 people in the hall, but I cared, only about the three currently standing beside me, posing for a photograph. Trisha, puja and priyank.

                I don’t know when I’ll be able to see Priyank and Puja  again, but I wanted to cherish this moment forever.This picture will always remind me of the most memorable days of my life..
                 
                       Sometimes, things don’t go the way we want them to, but one thing’s true, “It's all about living a fruitful day today...without thinking about the past...and without fearing the future!!”

                  This is Neil a.k.a Dumbo, signing off…..and this is the story of my life….

                   

                       THE END!!

MY MOTHER'S LAP!!

My mother’s lap!!

My mind so often drifts,

To all those wonderful times,

When on my mother’s lap,

Daily I had long naps,

I peacefully slept in her arms,

Smitten by her charm,

She meant the world to me,

And she created for me, a dream world to see,

She recited a variety of tales,

About august kings and their palaces,

I would be so awed, I remember,

And I’ll plead for a story another,

But all I did was hurt her,

By crying and grumbling forever,

Whole night she then held me close,

To prevent me from being morose,

I was so mean to her,

I was nothing but a weed,

Yet she tolerated me, gave me shelter,

Her lap was heaven, indeed,

My mother’s love was unconditional,

To her, I was truly special,

Alas, I didn’t reciprocate,

And throughout her life, I made her wait,

Years passed by,

I just drifted apart from her,

She kept waiting for my love forever,

And one day, in her sleep, she died,

Now I wish I could go back,

To fulfil her dream,

To give her the love I did lack,

I now realize what a bastard I had been,

Slowly I am now being sucked deep,

Into the black hole of self-blame and grief,

Frantically, for her lap I search,

Alas, I can’t find it; I begin to weep……………………

p.s.. the poem's a work of fiction...my mother's alive!!...though what i said about her "lap" and "love" is true!!..cheers!!

FAITH!!

Faith!!

Each day, I feel shudders,
Down my spine,
I try wiping my tears,
But I can’t stop cryin’,

I see humans being blown apart,
Torn and tattered,
Bruised and battered,
As I feel the pain in my heart,

Nothing’s going right,
I don’t feel secure or strong,
It’s futile to resist, to fight,
I don’t know I’ll survive for how long,

They know how to kill,
And they do it at their own will,
Corpses in front of me lay,
All I can do is cry, each day,

Joy, at times comes in disguise,
But never in the form of helpless cries,
No drug can ease this unending pain,
As all my hope for peace goes down the drain,

It’s worse than an apocalypse,
Alas, the world will come to an end,
I pray with stammering lips,
Save us, Lord, our saviour, our friend,

"His" image appears in my mind,
With the light of enlightenment behind,
"He" tells me not to worry but to smile,
The war will end, in a short while,

"His" words were reassuring,
They were immensely calming,
In "Him", we should believe and trust,
Coz soon "His light" will emanate from the earth’s crust………

A DAY I'D ALWAYS REMEMBER!!

A day I’d always remember!!

Rain, at times causes trouble,

To many a commuter,

But that day, my joy grew double,

Yeah, it was a day I’d always remember,

I was travelling back home,

From college, seated in a train,

Listening to my I-pod, all alone,

I was looking out, cursing the incessant rain,

In the same compartment,

Was a girl of about twenty,

And that’s how I first met,

The epitome of beauty,

I wanted to talk to her,

But,I didn’t have the pluck,

I prayed to god, as I glanced at her,

Give me one chance, and some luck,

I saw flashes of lightning,

I heard a roar of thunder,

And I got this weird feeling,

Yeah, God had heard my prayer,

The train abruptly stopped,

She turned pale fast,

Across the compartment I walked,

Don’t worry,I said, the phase will soon be past,

She didn’t seem perturbed,

Talking to a complete stranger,

I patted my back, my charm had worked,

As I wished the moment to last forever,

I was pleased, I was happy,

This was what I wanted,

She seemed to enjoy my company,

As, for the rain to abate, we waited,

Two hours later, the train began moving,

Soon it was time to part,

As I felt a strange feeling,

A pang of sadness in my heart,

It’s been one complete year,

She’s my girlfriend today,

That was a day I’d always remember,

When at last, things had begun to go my way…………

A ROLLER COASTER RIDE!!

A roller coaster ride!!

At times the world seems,
So beautiful in view,
As all the sweetest dreams,
They come true,

On other days I feel,
So alone, so dead,
As choking, gasping, I fight illness,
Lying on my bed,

If I am lucky,
The days pass so quickly,
Yet, on other days,
I feel bored till eternity,

At times I am,
So cheery and jocose,
Yet, on other days I am,
So surly and morose,

Some days I feel,
So complete, I have everything,
Yet, on other days I feel,
I am a nobody, there’s a lot missing,

I wonder why,
There are so many swings,
Of fortune till we die,
Life is a roller coaster ride,it seems,

Life’s all about maintaining,
Sanity and calm,
In times testing,
And smiling in adversity causes no harm,

Life’s all about removing,
The pessimism and all the negative vibe,
It’s all about enjoying,
The adventurous roller coaster ride……………………

THE INFAMOUS HUMAN GREED!!

The infamous human greed!!

In life, I have everything,

Yet I am missing something,

Is it really my need,

Or just the infamous human greed,

I have a stable family,

I have unquantifiable money,

I have unlimited power,

Yet, for more, why is there a hunger,

I am never contented,

With life, always at loggerhead,

It’s only problems that I can see,

But its beauty I fail to perceive,

In life, I have everything,

Yet the world doesn’t seem exciting,

I am wilting like a weed,

All because of the infamous human greed,

I never laugh or smile,

Even for a short while,

I just keep whining,

As the time keeps flying,

Someone once asked me,

What prevents thee from being happy,

That really made me wonder,

It made me introspect and ponder,

I realized, I needed a break short,

To solve the mysteries and seek what I want,

I’ll wander in the pursuit of happiness,

On the path to true, eternal success,

Life is all about understanding,

It’s all about creating,

A stress-free environment, indeed,

It’s all about killing the infamous human greed…….

26/11 - ONE YEAR LATER!!

26/11 – One year later!!

It’s been a year,
Since our lives changed forever,
I still shudder at the mayhem caused,
As beyond our tolerance limits, we crossed,

We’ll go weak in our knees,
They had thought, it seems,
They were mistaken badly,
Coz we united as “Indians” undoubtedly,

They wanted to hurt, they wanted to kill,
They tried to give us many a wound,
That may never heal,
But they failed, like they all should,

They ignited our mind,
To leave religious issues behind,
And fight for the country,
They united us, undoubtedly,

It’s been a year,
Yet the bloodshed,
The pain, the tear,
Is still etched into my head,

I salute the brave cops, the armed force,
Their resilience strong and hoarse,
The saviour from the tormentor,
I thank them again, a year later,

People died, but the hopes were still alive,
India erupted, It came out of its hive,
As harsh words were spoken,
Yes, India had finally woken,

Let us have a moment’s silence,
To commiserate the violence,
Caused by those bastards,
A bunch of unholy cowards,

Today I pray yet again,
For everlasting peace and freedom from fear,
A life without a shed of tear,
A life without an iota of pain……………

MY BEST FRIEND!!

My best friend!!

Her mind seemed clear,

On her face was a fake smile,

Yet in my best friend’s eyes, I saw a tear,

That kept appearing after every short while,

People were consoling her,

But so far, nothing they said,

Seemed to stop her tear,

As for them to leave, I patiently waited,

I had been through this,

I knew how she was feeling,

Her moments that were full of bliss,

Had suddenly transformed into a bitter feeling,

Break-ups are so often life changing,

She must be really distraught,

As it’s really hard to get over something,

One has always sought,

I could see in her eyes,

The pain, the extent of her agony,

She was so weary,I could perceive,

Yet I could give her nothing but sympathy,

I held her hand,

Gently I kissed her forehead,

Life can be cruel, we must understand,

Wiping off her tears, to her I said,

My best friend, life moves on,

Don’t lose hope, keep believing,

Coz there’s no point thinking,

About the things that are gone,

We all love to see a rainbow,

But for that, we have to bear the rain,

Life can give us a hard blow,

But it’s all about withstanding the pain,

I told her a small story,

About a little boy who wanted,

A pair of shoes fancy,

And to get those,he was hellbent,

He kept whining until he saw a child,

With no legs, yet smiling,

That’s when the boy realized,

He was foolish to cry, though he had everything,

Life moves on, this isn’t the end,

There’s just no need to cry,

Henceforth you’ll get unending joy,

This is my assurance to you, my best friend………….

WILL YOU DIE FOR ME??!!

Will you die for me??!!

We had been on many dates before,
My heart still demands for more,
Yesterday, she asked me,
All of a sudden,
Will you die for me,
That left me perplexed,
And so dumbfounded,

I stared at her blankly,
Motionless and still,
I didn’t know how to reply,
I didn’t know what to say,
I held her hand,
And I began my reply,
Hoping she'll understand,

“ You are immersed in my dreams,
And in my thoughts,
You are the one truly,
My heart always wants,

My heart beats for you,
Without you it’ll stop,
I leap in joy, in madness I hop,
Each time I meet you,

When you are not with me,
I wonder, is she all right?,
As every morning I wake up,
Just to see your sight,

I’ll be your saviour,
From every tormentor,
I’ll be your prince and knight,
Protecting you day and night,

In life, there’s just no fear,
When one has nothing to lose,
But losing you, my love,
It’s my greatest fear,

Will you die for me,
This is what you asked,
Yeah, I’ll die for you,
Not once, but a thousand time,
Coz i am all yours, and you are just mine………………"

THE PLACE I CALLED MY OWN!!

The place I called my own!!

A week ago, I came,

After twenty long years,

To the same place,

That I called my own,

Where I was born,

And it was here that I got a name,

I wish I had rebelled,

Against my parents,

I wish I hadnt accompanied,

Them to the United States,

To me this was heaven, a place dear,

And each day I dreamt of coming back here,

But now I don’t recognize,

One soul, one face,

A lot has changed,

And the only things that remained,

Were glorious moments,

In my heart, in my psyche,

The place I called my own,

It’s long gone,

The beautiful trees that used to adorn,

The place, are gone,

How did this happen, I cannot tell,

Alas,this place is now worse than hell,

The park where I played,

The palatial house where I stayed,

It’s long been demolished,

And now there lies many a complex,

That's so polluted, so crowded,

And so unhealthy, so filthy,

I feel like an outsider here,

The world has changed,

The people have damaged,

The heaven, that it was before,

The place I called my own,

It’s gone; Alas, the heaven’s no more………….

LIVING A FRUITFUL DAY TODAY!!

Living a fruitful day today!!

There are moments when,
With heavy steps I walk,
I stammer as I talk,
I don’t know where I am heading,
I don’t know what I am doing,

There are moments when,
I feel lost and I wonder why,
As I sit shivering under the moonlit sky,
I badly seek a shelter,
Or a loving arm over my shoulder,

There are moments when,
I get immensely angry, I curse,
And make lot of tantrums,
I create a huge ruckus,
And there’s a pandemonium of all my emotions,

It’s high time I understand,
Sometimes things won’t go our way,
Yet that shouldn’t deter us,
From living a fruitful day today,
In a manner grand,

A wise man had once said,
Life is just a bed,
Of beautiful roses, but with many a thorn,
There’s just no point thinking,
About the things long gone,

It’s high time I realize,
There’s always something,
Good that definitely results,
Out of every thing,
Unfortunate that happens,

Life is all about finding,
That one good thing,
Leaving the rest behind,
That’s the only way,
Of living a fruitful day today.......

MY BETTER HALF!!

My better half!!

Life is so exciting,

That’s just because I have you,

Yeah, It’s a thousand percent true,
You make my life worth living,

Each time we talk,

The conversation gets coded,

Into my memory,

Secure with an unbreakable lock,

Each time I gaze into your eyes,

I feel myself drowning,

In their innocent, virgin beauty,

As the time just flies,

Each time I hold you close,

I feel content and blessed,

And I just won’t care,

If the rest of the world froze,

I love your innocent yet seductive smile,

And I promise I’d die, but,

I’ll never let you cry,

Even for a little while,

The days are full of bliss and ecstasy,

When you are around,

As I cherish every moment,

I get to spend in your company,

We have been together,

For the past six years,

I just can’t get enough of you,

Please be my better half forever,

I know one thing,

We'll walk the aisle together,

Destiny has already decided,

I want to be with you forever,

But tonight i am proposing thee,

Bending down on one knee,

With the exotic collection of flowers,

My princess, please be my better half forever.............

LITTLE MISS FORGETFUL!!

Little Miss Forgetful!!

Women have this strange habit of exaggerating and over-reacting to small things...the poem is a classic example of that..Is this what we call Paranoia??

Please note, my poem DOES NOT deal with amnesia, Alzheimer's or any medical aspect...i am not a doctor and neither have i done research to write a poem based on that..Mine is just about day-to-day forgetfulness and the fear of amnesia in the mind of a girl in her early twenties...!!!


I was clumsy right since school,
But never was I forgetful,
I don’t know when it all began,
But I curse myself coz it all began,

My friends’ birthdays and number,
That used to be on my fingertips,
Now I barely can remember,
And the thought of amnesia gives me creeps,

Sometimes I don’t recognize a face,
Sometimes I don’t recollect an event or place,
My memory’s diminishing with passing time,
As this sends chills down my spine,

Everyone calls me “Little Miss Forgetful”,
Hearing it daily is so painful,
Someone please show me a way,
A glimmer of hope, a ray,

My forgetfulness is haunting me,
My life is taunting me,
Relieve me of this anxiety and pain,
Before my memory completely goes down the drain,

I have seen movies on the dreaded topic,
And that scares me even more,
It makes me awfully sick,
Could this get worse any more,

Am I getting paranoid,or,
Is my greatest fear gonna come true,
Is this a common phenomenon, or,
Am I one of the unlucky few,

You might think I am over-reacting,
You might call me an idiot or a fool,
But save me,someone,I am incessantly wishing,
Please relieve me from the title of “ Little Miss Forgetful”……

MY GIFT!!

My gift!!

Dedicated to Kristen Stewart... my latest inspiration!!

Some say I have a special gift,

It’s my ability to write poetry,

But for me, the real gift,

Is you, and you only,

You are one of a kind,

Never have I seen someone like you before,

You will always be immersed in my mind,

As you are the one I truly adore,

My heart is pure and true,

Like the words of the Almighty,

It had always waited for someone like you,

To share its feelings and beauty,

I still remember our first kiss,

In the moonlight, on the beach, in the sand,

You are truly an oasis,

In the middle of a desert, a barren land,

I like to see the breeze blowing,

And ruffling your tresses,

As your cheeks it caresses,

Coz it makes you look stunning,

The journey’s indeed come a long way,
I never expected we would marry someday,
I did wish for it times quite a few,
At last, my sweetest dreams have come true,

Each day when we part for work,

My mind goes berserk,

I feel like quitting my career,

Just to lie in your arms forever,

With you, I want to spend,

At least fifty more years,

Without any fights, without any tears,

You are my gift, the only one I have ever loved,

I want to be with you, in this birth and even beyond……….

IT'S ALL OVER!!

It’s all over!!

Why did u leave,
When there was so much love,
I had yet to give,
And I am all alone now,

We could have sorted out,
All the existing problems,
We could have found out,
Better and effective solutions,

We were an epitome,
For all romantics die-hard,
Our love could have been carved,
In monuments of stone,

I knew we had the spark,
For our love to sustain,
The moments tense and dark,
But now it’s all in vain,

Life is about adjusting,
Love is about understanding,
I can’t believe it’s all over,
When I was meant to be with you forever,

What was my mistake,
When for you, I was willing,
To put my life at stake,
Coz being with you was such a blessing,

I don’t know why you chose to part,
As now I feel,
Such a void in my heart,
That’s just so hard to fill,

Countless times I wish,
For you to return,
You are the one I truly miss,
Come, relieve me of this heartburn,

Three months have gone,
She hasn’t returned,
It’s time to move on,
Finally, I have realized,

It’s hard to flush,
A lover, a sweetheart, a crush,
From the mind,
This I am slowly beginning to find,

Life’s all about hope and belief,
I’ll soon find someone new,
And one day I’ll get joy and relief,
And everlasting love that’s deep and true………

V.J.T.I !!

V.J.T.I !!

All the students at VJTI would definitely be able to relate with the sentiments expressed here!!

About V.J.T.I, I had heard lots,

Like others, I too came here,

With my profound dreams,

With countless expectations,

With magnum thoughts,

And with unfathomable ambitions,

I arrived the very first day,

Half an hour early, I remember,

I felt some strange connection,

Some inexplicable emotion,

The happiness showed on my face,

I knew, this is a "heavenly place"!!

It’s been more than two years since that day,

And it still feels like yesterday,

It’s been an amazing journey,

I look down the memory lane,

In another year, it’ll be all over,

The thought gives me immense pain,

As I write this, in college I am roaming around,

Reliving all past events, the magical moments,

I remember eating during the lecture hours,

Or sitting in the quad for hours,

Bunking lectures and pracs at will,

Or intense Xeroxing when it’s time for the kill,

As I write this, I am roaming around,

Reliving past events, the magical moments,

I remember gearing up to work for fests,

To help in making them a rocking success,

I remember working incessantly for hours,

To give shape to my sky-scraping desires,

Of course, there were glitches along the way,

The submissions and assignments,

Always gave me unwarranted stress,

I remember cribbing in distress,

Or begging for someone’s assignments,

To complete, on the penultimate day,

So many new people I’ve met,

So many unforgettable moments I’ve spent,

Post V.J.T.I, life would leave a void,

That just can’t be filled,

One thing’s for sure,

V.J.T.I, my soul shall always reside here……

SWEETHEART!!

Sweetheart!!


I love you sweetheart,
From the innermost part,
Of my heart that beats,
Just for you, it seems,

My love is true,
And it will keep on growing,
It has no boundary,
It has no ending,

I love you sweetheart,
To me, you mean the world,
And to be with you,
I can fight the whole world,

Nothing is perfect in life,
But having you in my life,
Makes it so fun and exciting,
Yeah, you make it truly worth living,

I love you sweetheart,
As I feel your presence,
Even in your absence,
Yeah, it’s true, I only live for you,

You make me leap,
In joy and madness,
There can be no wory or sadness,
With you around, I can never cry or weep,

I love you sweetheart,
And I’ll keep on doing so,
Till death takes us apart,
And even beyond, wherever we’ll go………

MY 100TH POEM:: "THE ONLY ONE I EVER LOVED!!"

My 100^th poem:: The only one I ever loved!!

I want to be,

Your knight in shining armour,

I want to be,

In your tender arms forever,

Gazing into your loving eyes forever,

I want to be,

The charming prince of your life,

I want you to be,

My lover, my wife,

Now and in every future life,

With you, I want to,

Sail and swim in the seas,

And in oceans far and deep,

Amidst the exotic fishes,

I want to see you leap,

I want to stand with you,

On the deadly mountain sides,

I want to go with you,

On the scariest of amusement rides,

Just to see you cling me in fear,

I want to sip wine with you,

Sitting by the shimmering beach,

I want to walk with you in the moonlight,

Counting stars and exploring nature,

In all its grandeur and might,

You always alleviate my pain,

Your presence gives me relief,

Someday you will share my last name,

This isn’t my arrogance,

It’s my true, unwavering belief,

When I marry you,

I want the whole world to see,

And to feel jealous,

Coz you are one in a billion,

Surely the best in the universe,

Dreams are many, words are few,

To describe how much I need you,

You are the only one I truly loved,

All I want is, just to be with you,

In this birth and even beyond………

WITH YOU AROUND!!

With you around!!

With you around,

My laughter lasts till time eternal,

Coz the joy is real,

As I am transported to a world parallel,

My mind is filled,

With countless dreams,

Of us being together and enjoying,

Away from the world, we are at ease,

With you around,

I am swept off the ground,

We’re flying in the skies,

And the feeling’s so nice,

I dream of you, and only you, dear,

It doesn’t matter if you are far or near,

My heart always beats for you,

Every single time,

Without you around,

I feel so lost and lonely,

And I long to be with you,

Every passing moment, actually,

My eyes search for your face,

Wherever I go, in every damn place,

My ears hear your sound,

Wherever I go, and I turn around,

I imagine us kissing at the altar,

As we avow to live together,

Forever, in sickness and in health,

And in distress and in wealth,

With you around,

I do not care if I die early,

As long as i get to spend,

My days with you till my end.........

P.S I LOVE YOU!!

P. s … I love you!!

We were meant to be together, forever,

We had taken an oath, do you remember,

How could you leave me then,

All alone, in distress and in pain,

You have left a void,

That just can’t be filled,

You have left a gap so wide,

And tears don’t stop however hard I tried,

I am engulfed in space,

And I long to see your face,

Just one last time,

I want to hold your arms in mine,

We were going to go someday,

On a world trip together,

We were going to stay,

In a beachside bungalow forever,

You had said, ”I’ll be there for you,

Till every grain of sand vanished from view,

And so did every drop in the mighty ocean,

And till the world stops its motion”

What happened to all those promises,

You made so casually,

Why am I forced to live in memories,

When we could have made a better reality,

I love you lots, I miss you lots,

I hope heaven is pretty,

I’ll join you there, wait for me,

After all, our love is infinity,

And it shall last till eternity………

LIVING IN LONELINESS!!

Living in loneliness!!

Living in loneliness,

My life’s a mess,

Living in pain,

It’s driving me insane,

The sea of sorrow,

The limitless sky of woe,

I am trying to ward off,

These ghosts; but it’s tough,

Sometimes I get this feeling,

The walls are closing down on me,

I am lost and drowning,

In the wilderness of the sea,

My life is full of turmoil,

As i always see my plans foil,

People start consoling me over the phone,

And i shout, "leave me alone!"

Just when I was contemplating suicide,

I came across,

A friend, philosopher and a guide,

Who taught me to move ahead after a loss,

Some things go our way,

But in life, we lose even more,

Ships do lose their way,

But for that, they have to leave the shore,

Life is a blessing,

Time heals everything,

He said, I have to keep believing,

I have to be persevering,

I suddenly feel a lot better,

The boredom and pessimism is all over,

I am no more living in loneliness, I say,

At last I have seen a glimmer of hope, a ray………

I MESSED IT UP, YET AGAIN!!

I messed it up yet again!!

The day I had wished for,
Since so long,
How could it possibly go,
So terribly wrong,

It was supposed to be memorable,
Ended up being so terrible,
I messed it up, yet again,
And the memories are now driving me insane,

I don’t know the reason,
What was the problem,
I am wondering,
I am pondering,

I don’t know what was going on in my psyche,
But now I am cursing myself,
And I am feeling like,
A torn, ragged book on the shelf,

I messed it up, yet again,
And the memories are now driving me insane,
To understand I am trying,
As silent tears I am crying,

Wish I could turn back the time,
I wish a few hours down the line,
Alas, the past can’t be changed,
You can’t change things you damaged,

I feel so idiotic and dumb,
This incident is making me feel dumb,
It is haunting me,
My life is taunting me,

No amnesia can wipe these memories,
No drug can ever ease,
The undue stress,
Resulting for the self-created mess,

If I get a chance another,
Things would be different,
But this has left me bruised and burnt,
It will haunt me forever,

It was supposed to be my day,
It wasn’t meant to be this way,
I messed it up, yet again,
And the memories are now driving me insane……

I LIVE FOR YOU!!

I live for you!!

I live for you,
All I want is, just to be with you,
Coz one thing I know is,
With you, my life would be bliss,

I can travel a thousand mile,
Just to see your beautiful smile,
Just to get a glimpse of your pretty face,
I am ready to come to any damn place,

You are marvelous truly,
The epitome of grace and beauty,
One thing I am sure,
I want to be with you forever,

I want to be by your side,
Holding your hand,
Visiting places far and wide,
Spending time in desolate island,

You are immersed in my dreams,

I never want to wake up ,it seems

For it feels so lovely

Just to dream about you, actually,

Life without you would be so boring,
Your presence is so refreshing,
You make me dance; you make me sing,
You make my life worth living,

Dreams are many; words are few,
To describe how much I need you,
I live for you, and only you,
All I want is just to be with you…………

DILEMMA!!

Dilemma!!

Every morning I wake,
After this recent heartbreak,
I feel shattered; and sad,
I feel so battered; and at life so mad,

I thought it would be an easy take,
To get over a heartbreak,
I’ve realized, people were right,
It takes tremendous might,

She unintentionally creeps into my mind,
The angelic smile; her nature kind,
I try hard to divert,
But that doesn’t alleviate the hurt,

Wherever I go, whatever I do,
Her charismatic personality,
Follows me around,
I am in a dilemma, addled and confused,

Do I still love her,
Or is she gone,
From my heart forever,
I am in a dilemma, baffled and bemused,

Few days pass like this,
I get the same dreams again and again,
Of moonlight strolls and walks in the rain,
And the dilemma still persists,

But it all changed today,
I woke up afresh; it’s a new day,
I wasn’t feeling any pain,
Nor had I dreamt about the rain,

I listen to my favorite romantic song,
She doesn’t come into my mind,
At last I’ve put my past behind,
Though it has taken a bit too long,

The dilemma has perished,
The confusion has vanished,
I have learnt to live without her,
I’ve moved on, for the better………

ILLUSION!!

Illusion!!

We sometimes dream about how our ideal life should be…instead why don’t we come out of our world of illusion and face the reality, however harsh it might be!!...this song is loosely based on the above idea…

Why do we believe in,
Things those aren’t true,
Why do keep wishing,
For all our ambitions to come true,

Why do we keep counting,
The eggs before they are hatched,
Why do we keep dreaming,

Of mansions; when we live in huts thatched,

Why do we live in,
A world of fantasy,
Why do we always sideline,
The harsh and callous reality,

Why do we try to hide our pain,

And worries that are driving us insane,
Why do we keep having,
A false impression, a delusion,

Why do we fake an oasis,
When we know our life’s a cruel desert,
Instead why don’t we face our problems,
With a clear mind and with ease,

Why do we live in our dreams,
In a world of illusion, of false impression,
So often I wonder,

So deeply I ponder,

We must learn to face the reality,
To withstand the continuous cruelty,
There’s no point hiding our pain,
When we know our life’s a squalid drain,

There’s no point living,
In a world of illusion,
There’s no use having,
A false impression, a delusion…

LOOKING AHEAD!!

Looking ahead!!

Rejection is a part of life !!..this poem describes the story of a guy who proposed and got rejected...You might call it a sequel to the poem "proposal" listed below.

It had to end someday,
I didn’t know it would end this way,
Now I have to look ahead,
Where there lies a paradise,
On every future step I’ll tread,

It does feel a bit different,
I don’t know how, but,
I feel a bit relaxed,
Not at all hurt, as I had expected,
Not at all awkward,

All things have to end someday,
Coz only few things go our way,
I am relieved really,
That the heartbreak happened so smoothly,
Without any tear or an unwarranted display of anger,

A backlash from her,
I was expecting and fearing,
I dreaded a hostile reaction,
It’s indeed a blessing,
She turned out to be such a practical person,

Now I don’t feel restless anymore,
Waiting for her calls, emails or messages,
Life tests us daily; it teaches us incessantly,
Everything happens for the better,
It’s good this happened sooner rather than later,

My life hasn’t changed,
My friendship with her hasn’t damaged,
It has only become stronger,
I have moved on; looked ahead,
Envisioning paradise on every future step I’ll tread……

PROPOSAL!!

Proposal!!

In life, luckily,
I have almost everything,
The only ingredient missing,
My love, it’s you,

My heart has chosen you,
Since a long time,
It keeps dreaming,
Of your hand in mine,

The first time I met you,
I remember the whole conversation,
That happened that day,
As I long for it to repeat everyday,

Nothing can erase the memories,
From my mind that feels,
Your presence every minute,
As I keep praying to meet you again soon,

You make a boring journey,
Truly memorable and enjoyable,
You are such wonderful company,
So lovable and affable,

Each time we part,
I just can’t utter goodbye,
I don’t want you to go,
And I feel momentary sadness in the heart,

So many times I’ve thought,
Of a romantic evening,
With soft music playing,
And mild, gentle breeze rubbing your cheeks,

I love the innocent twinkle in your eye,
I am addicted to your smile,
To get you off my mind,
It’ll take an infinitely long while,

People say it takes a lifetime,
To find our soul mate,
But I am sure I’ve found mine,
In only my late teen,

In life nothing’s perfect,
But I know our relationship could be,
This I know a thousand percent,
A world of Utopia, indeed; just you and me,

I don’t know why,
I am making such a proposal,
But I’ll try not to cry,
If at all, I hear your refusal,

You may not end up being my girlfriend,
But I’ll love you till my days end,
After all, it’s not just a fleeting crush,
I truly love you, deeply,

You may not end up being my wife,
But you’ll remain forever in my life,
My love for you is infinity,
Which, my dear, shall last till eternity……

FROM MY HEART...TO MY SOUL!!

From my heart…to my soul!!

I have never loved anyone,
As seriously as you,
My love for you,
It’s intense and true,

You are the reason for my existence,
As I miss you every fleeting instance,
Your absence makes me lonely,
Even when I am with my friends or family,

Each time we part,
I long to meet you again,
To spend another moment with you again,
An unending desire burning in my heart,

I like the way you smile,
From you eyes depicting innocence,
Spreading joy and happiness,
That lasts for a long while,

I can’t concentrate,
On things I ought to,
And to shorten the long wait,
Interim I keep dreaming of being with you,

I may never propose to you,
Due to the fear of losing the friend in you,
But living the whole life without you,
That would be a bit too painful,

In the past one year,
You have become one of my sweetest friends,
A person so dear and near,
Who I’ll always love till my life ends……………

INDEPENDENCE!!

Independence!!

It’s been more than sixty years,
Since we began our journey,
When the whole world had slept,
And we had made a tryst with destiny,

It was a new day for us,
A feeling of self-accomplishment,
A sense of utmost contentment,
As hands clasped together, we prayed for a better India,

It’s been more than sixty years,
But the fears still exist,
The pain does persist,
As hands clasped together, we still pray for a better India,

Is hoisting the tricolour enough,
Is chanting the national anthem enough,
Where is the pride, the enthusiasm,
The feeling of unity and patriotism,

We are known for our tolerant culture,
But are we for our skeptical nature,
We fear or hate our own brothers,
Just because of a difference in caste or religion,

We talk about eradicating,
Poverty and corruption,
Yet we repeatedly keep exploiting,
The masses forming the bulk of the population,

We prefer to watch the reality shows,
Than face the distressing reality,
We care more for our cricketers,
Than our war heroes and survivors,

It’s been more than sixty years,
Yet we live in darkness,
Waiting for that one glow of light,
To get us out of the self-created mess,

Was this the dream of the “Mahatma”,
Was this the India we craved,
Was this the nation we wanted,
As hands clasped together, we keep praying for a better India,

It’s time we stand up,
For our beloved motherland,
It’s been more than sixty years,
And now we’ll carve a better India with our magical hand………

NIGHTMARES!!

Nightmares!!

I get recurrent nightmares,
I don’t get dreams,
About me, no one cares,
That is how it all seems,

Sometimes I am all alone,
In a dark, dingy passage,
About to be pounced upon,
By hundred lions just out of cage,

Or I am sitting at the beach,
Admiring the waves, the calm sea,
Suddenly there comes a huge one; I screech,
And there’s no one to save me,

Sometimes I am admiring the mountains and the cliff,
With some dear friends of mine,
We have a minor tiff,
And they push me down; into the sands of time,

Or I am driving peacefully,
And the road below vanishes,
I go down some tunnel or valley,
And burnt to ashes,

I wake up perspiring,
I feel blank; unable to think what to do,
This feeling is nauseating,
As I keep wondering, what if they come true………

IN PAIN!!

In pain!!

I am in pain,
I want to be alone for some time,
So do not pester me,
Even if you see my whine,

I want to go away,
From the colleagues I abhor,
I want to do as I feel,
Away from this insipid door,

I fail to understand,
The point of living here,
Where I am not free,
And under constant scrutiny of my peer,

I need no mentor,
I need no guide,
The world is a place so squalid,
I am discovering its mean side,

I am in pain,
I would prefer being a nomad,
Where I am my own master,
Away from the world so mad,

I worked incessantly,
But I gained nothing,
My life’s a bitter gourd,
Worthless and nauseating,

I am in pain; I want to flee,
Away from all the people I call my own,
To Utopia; where everything’s fair,
Where I can peacefully smile; though alone………

SILENT LOVE!!

Silent love!!

I knew a girl,
I loved that girl,
Immensely, undoubtedly,
But I just couldn’t tell,

My feelings remained,
Till the very end,
In my heart,
My love so silent,

She was a good friend,
I felt that this couldn’t be the end,
I wanted something more,
But my love remained silent,

I had dreamt a lot,
She was the one I sought,
The only one I loved,
But I never said,

But now she’s gone,
And I am all alone,
Ruing my lost chance,
Living in utter grief,

Wish I could turn back the time,
And ask her out just one time,
It would be fun on the first date,
Alas, I am a moment too late!

My feelings don’t matter,
She’s with a guy another,
My love remained silent,
And that is how it all ended

Life keeps on moving,
Even I’ll try living,
Loving her silently forever,
Praying for her happiness forever……

I NEVER THOUGHT!!

I never thought!!

I never thought,
We would be together someday,
Spending such a blissful day,

I never thought,
Our closeness would be celebrated,
And for this day, so long I had waited,

I never thought,
Our togetherness would be accompanied,
By such opulent people of various profession and creed,

The journey’s been amazing,
It feels so exciting,
Yeah, it’s true, we are marrying,

I never thought,
Life could be so much fun,
And destiny could take such a nice turn,

I never thought,
About our honeymoon,
But yeah, it’s real; it’s going to happen soon,

I never thought,
But what I had always sought,
I have finally got,

Forever I would recollect this day,
For all the blessings I thank thee,
Full of happiness, let my future always be………

A FRIEND!!

A FRIEND!!

The word “friend” is short,
But it does signify a lot,
It makes us remember,
Weird moments spent together,

Eating and watching movies,
Chatting nonsense, having fun,
Or conversations full of,
Sarcasm, zeal and pun.

We keep creating rumours,
As the time flies,
But also bailing out someone,
On the verge of cries,

Of course there are,
Baseless arguments and countless fights,
Butwe forget it in,
A couple of nights,

Life is extremely short,
So in peace we must live,
A friend is undoubtedly special,
So only joy we must give,

Coz there might come a doomsday,
When there's no one to help us,
No one to protect us,
In the chilly winters or the scorching sun of May,

And that’s when ourselves,
We’ll curse without an end,
For letting go of a magical person,
Known by the name “friend”.....

I need you all!! .. and I hope this feeling is mutual…happy friendship day to u!!

I KNOW A GIRL!!

I know a girl!!

I know a girl,
Her face so cherubic,
Her behaviour so angelic,
And I think I am in love,
With her since times immemorial,

Her eyes so pretty,
Her hair so silky,
And I think I am meant for her,
In this birth and forever,

I know a girl,

She looks so attractive,
Her smile so cute and seductive,
And I dream all the time,
Of her being mine,

Her voice so melodious,
Her dance truly marvelous,
She's so smart and intelligent,
Though at times,just a bit adamant,

I know a girl,

She’s an obedient daughter,
She’ll make a caring wife and daughter,
And a passionate lover,
I just want to be with her,

She’s indeed, a super-woman,
Really an ideal, saintly person,
My love for you is infinity,

Which my dear, will continue till eternity......