The puzzle piece

 (First written in July 2016)


The puzzle piece


Wherever I go, I come across two kinds of people. One who are too full of themselves, and the other who are constantly doubting themselves. Many in my ecosystem unfortunately belong to the second category. I say unfortunately, because despite being really wonderful, they constantly seek validation from the world. Constantly drowning in a sea of self-doubt, unable to fathom the value they bring to the table, not just at work but even as a person. Their blatant refusal to believe that they are awesome irks me. Yes there would always be people better than us - better performing professionals, friends with a more happening social life, and random people on Facebook and Instagram with seemingly happier lives. But, does that make us any less awesome?

I have always believed in the philosophy that, if we don't believe in yourself, it's futile to expect others to believe in us. If we don't love the way we are, how can we expect others to appreciate our myriad personality!

The point I am trying to make is, it’s time we let go of our overcritical ego. Let us kill the voice in our head that pulls us down. The memory that constantly reminds us of times we failed – the dejections and the rejections. The pessimistic heart that's hurt to a point that it has stopped believing in how amazing we are. 

Everyone has their own individual baggage that pulls them down, but isn't it time that we allow it to rest? Why can't we wake up each day and look into the mirror and say, "I am awesome. Yes I have flaws but who doesn't. I am proud of the way I am!" I am not implying that we shouldn't work towards improving ourselves, but certainly not while being self-deprecating of our current self.

Each one of us is a puzzle piece that completes many others. Not just any piece but the most important and pivotal one. Today, let us attempt a simple exercise. Let's sit in one corner of the room for 30 seconds and write down all the top of mind adjectives that describe us, both positive and negative. It isn’t surprising that most of us tend to write mostly about the flaws we have versus the good qualities that define us. Now, let us attempt the exercise again with a small constraint – we aren’t allowed to write even a single negative adjective.  30 seconds later, we will see a tangible difference, not just in terms of what we have written, but also in the way we are feeling about self. 

This brings me to the final point, why do we need to constantly seek validation from the world – managers, friends, family, lover, etc.? Why do we have a constant urge to hear about our strengths and developmental areas at work and take more stress than necessary? Why do we have sudden bouts of loneliness when we compare our social lives with someone else's? Why do we seek constant validation for the impact we bring to people's lives? Can't we for a change be confident about who we are and the value to bring to people's lives?

As I was writing this post, there were constant voices in my head trying to pull me down, telling me I won't be able to even complete this post, leave alone making any sense or motivating the reader to read it. I had a choice: either to keep the phone aside or to prove the voice wrong and continue writing. I chose the latter; we all should. So, let us pledge to give our overcritical ego a permanent rest and believe in our gorgeousness and awesomeness…

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