You are all that I have - Short story

Looking at Mrs. Shubhangi Kulkarni, no one could guess that behind the veiled smile lay a broken heart.

Shubhangi was born years ago, in a lower-middle-class Maharashtrian family, in a small, nondescript village thirty kilometres from Pune city. Her birth was considered a good omen, as it coincided with the auspicious occasion of Gudi Padva, the Maharashtrian New Year. Despite being a female child, she was loved and pampered by her parents. They fondly called her their Gudiya, an adorable doll.

Shubhangi’s merriness was short lived. Tragedy struck when she was five, as her father succumbed to an untimely heart attack. In those days, it wasn’t easy for a widow, yet her mother hung in there and single handedly raised her. As soon as Shubhangi turned eighteen, her mother married her off to their village postman, and died soon after.

Shubhangi was emotionally attached to her mother, and hence it took her months to get over the loss. Often, her mind drifted to the past, especially the bedtime stories that her mother narrated. Shubhangi always expected her husband to be a ‘Prince Charming’ from the stories. Reality had other plans.

Shubhangi’s husband was twenty years older than her, and considered it to be a marriage of convenience. His first wife had run away with another man, and he remarried because he was bored living alone. While Shubhangi performed all her duties as a wife, she never received an iota of affection from him. Sexual satisfaction, yes, but never love. To add to that, he was a raging alcoholic, and often came home in an inebriated state. Three years into the marriage, Mahesh was conceived on one such drunken night.

Shubhangi’s love and longing for her husband grew lesser with every passing day. Her life would have been completely hollow, had Mahesh not been around. Mahesh soon became the apple of her eye. Her husband never gave Mahesh the attention he deserved, but Shubhangi had long given up. Her days went by happily playing with Mahesh, but the nights were scary as her husband returned home, inebriated and cranky.

Shubhangi feared for the safety of her son, and often pined to run away with him. But where could she go? How could she survive alone? Financial troubles had hindered her education beyond basic primary schooling. Her husband was the sole breadwinner, and she needed him for financial support and stability.

Years went by. Nothing changed. Life remained mundane as ever. Soon, Mahesh turned five.

Then one day, Shubhangi’s life took an unexpected turn. Her husband’s body was found in a well near the post office where he worked. No one knew whether it was an accident or a suicide. Post mortem results suggested drug and alcohol overdose.

When Shubhangi first heard the news, she was devastated. While she had stopped loving her husband, she loved her son immensely and wondered how she can now manage financially. She held her son close and whispered in his ears, “You are all that I have. I am going to be there for you till the end.” That night, she cried buckets of tears. But her resolve strengthened with every tear she shed. 

Next day, Shubhangi enrolled Mahesh in a nearby Government school. She didn’t have money to pay the fees, hence instead offered to work as a cleaner for free. The school authorities felt sympathetic towards her, and agreed,

Mahesh was a bright and sincere student and soon became a teachers’ pet. Over the next ten years, he demonstrated excellence in academics and secured 84% in the Secondary School Certificate examinations. Meanwhile, Shubhangi became the head peon. She was proud of her son’s achievements and wanted him to move to the city to pursue higher education. The trust agreed to pay for his higher education, and he was sent off to Pune to complete his Diploma in Mechanical Engineering.

Seeing Mahesh successful was Shubhangi’s biggest dream, and he didn’t disappoint her. Mahesh stood second in his college in Diploma and secured admission into the prestigious College of Engineering, Pune to complete his graduation. He aced it with ease and secured job at Larsen & Toubro, one of the premier recruiters. Over the next few years, he worked night and day and twice received the coveted ‘Employee of the year’ award for Maharashtra region. He was often sent abroad for short stints, and his overall financial situation improved.

Mahesh finally saved enough to afford a 2BHK apartment in Pune and gifted it to his mother on her fiftieth birthday. Shubhangi was overjoyed, and left the job at the school to move in with him. Mahesh was a doting son and he taught her to operate a computer and a mobile phone. Whenever he went abroad, they would now Skype and WhatsApp each other.

Mahesh continued to scale new heights and they lived a life of luxury. Mahesh got the opportunity of a lifetime when he was chosen to represent India on a three-year global engagement, a project touted as the biggest engagement for Larsen & Toubro. ‘Go for it,’ his mother said, and he soon flew to the United States.

Despite different time zones and the unbearable physical distance, the mother-son bond remained strong. Technology brought them close, and love brought them closer.

However, soon things began to change. Their talks became much more infrequent. And when they talked, Mahesh was curt and rude. When she called, he didn’t pick up. Seldom did he call back. When she pinged him, he rarely replied. And when he did, it was usually a word or a phrase. He had stopped asking how she was, nor did he talk about interesting events from his life. Shubhangi considered it to be an outcome of stress and work pressures.

Shubhangi yearned for contact from her son. She willed herself to not check her phone to see if he had replied. It had been about three days now. She hated that she was constantly checking his 'last seen at' status and yes, he had logged in just five minutes ago. Yet she couldn't stop herself. This sinking feeling to find absolutely no communication from him was becoming unbearable, almost torturous.

And then, just as she sat down in her chair, her phone vibrated. With her heart thudding in her ear, she unlocked her phone and stared at the screen. Finally! It was his message.

But when she opened it and read it, she nearly stopped breathing. She didn't know if he was joking or not. What was this? “I want to die!” the message read.

Shubhangi frantically dialed his number, hoping he was joking, just like the pranks he played in childhood.

“Hello Mahesh. Hey kay message pathavla aahes tu? Sagla thik aahe na? (Why have you sent such a message? Are you alright?)

“I am coming to India tomorrow. I’ll talk to you when I get home,” he said and hung up.

The next twenty hours were the longest of her life. Shubhangi didn’t sleep and fervently prayed to Ganesha, the Elephant God, for Mahesh’s safety and well-being. While she wasn’t aware of the issue, she could sense that it was grave.

As soon as Mahesh entered the apartment, Shubhangi embraced him and peppered him with kisses. “How are you? Did you eat anything in the flight? I have prepared your favourite delicacies, including Shrikhand-Puri,” she said, only to receive a cold response from him.

“Mom, we need to sell the house,” was the first thing he said.

“Why, what happened? Please sit, we will talk leisurely. Freshen up and I’ll set up the table by then. Have food first and then tell me the entire story.”

“No, that can wait. This is urgent. We need to sell the house. I went on the global engagement hoping I’ll get an enriching experience. However, they didn’t pay me beyond the first six months. I kept on working because I liked the work, hoping they would eventually pay me after the recessionary phase ends. But it never happened. In the meantime, the rents, bills, and debt kept piling. Selling the house is the only solution now. After a lot of convincing, I was allowed to travel to India. But with the condition that I have to return in three days with the money.”

Shubhangi was taken aback. She was terribly concerned for her son, but remained calm on the outside. She smiled and uttered the cliché, “You are all that I have. I am with you. Let’s sell the house.”

Next day, Rohan Makhija, a real estate broker-lawyer-consultant came home to discuss the legal proceedings associated with the sale. “Mrs. Kulkarni, Mahesh has already briefed me about the situation last week. I have all the paperwork handy. We also have a tenant who’s willing to transfer the entire money by tomorrow, as long as you provide him with complete possession.”

“Mahesh, where will I stay? As you know, I had sold off our village hut before coming here,” Shubhangi asked him after Rohan Makhija had gone.

“Mom, you don’t have to worry. You know how much I love you. I have made arrangements for you at a nearby shelter home for women. It’s just a temporary arrangement. Two to three months. I will pay off my debts and then will come back.”

“I trust you. I know I will be happy as long as you are happy.”

Mahesh packed his mother’s belongings and dropped her at the Mahila Seva shelter home, run by a local NGO focused on empowerment and upliftment of underprivileged women. When they parted, it was Mahesh’s turn to use the cliché, “You are all that I have. I’ll come back soon.”

Six months passed. Mahesh didn’t return.

During the first month, they occasionally spoke on phone. From the second month, his phone was not reachable. Six months later, she ran out of patience and asked the shelter home authorities if Mahesh had left a forwarding address. It turned out that the address was a fake and no one actually lived there.

What is wrong, she wondered? Next day, she barged into the Larsen & Toubro office, hoping to get information on whereabouts of her son. The security guard saw genuineness in her plea and escorted her to the personnel department which stored information on all the employees, including their current location.

“What’s his name?” the lady at the counter asked.

“Mahesh Kulkarni”

“Sorry, Madam. There seems to be a mistake. We do not have a Mahesh Kulkarni in our database. We do have a former employee, but he was fired on grounds of misconduct more than two years ago.”

“This can’t be true. My son is currently on a global engagement in the US.”

It was only after Shubhangi saw her son’s image and the termination letter that she believed the lady. Should she notify the police? Was her son in trouble? Countless questions encircled her mind, yet she had no answers.

She knew only one more person in Pune, and that was Rohan Makhija, the real estate broker.

“Hi, is this Rohan Makhija? I am Mrs. Shubhangi Kulkarni.”

“Oh yes, Mrs. Kulkarni. I recognize you. I am surprised it took you this long to call me.”

“I didn’t get you. Were you expecting my call?”

“Yes. As a matter of fact, I was. I know you would call me someday to hear the truth about your son.”

A few minutes later, Shubhangi was off to Pimpri, a suburb where Rohan Makhija stayed.

“Mr. Makhija, tell me. Where is my son? What did you mean when you said I will call you?”

Rohan took a deep breath and said, “Mrs. Kulkarni, your son cheated you, and you were too blind to see. I knew Mahesh through a mutual friend. Two years ago, he came to me asking for help. He had sexually harassed three women at Larsen & Toubro and was about to be fired from his job. Being a real estate broker, I developed good relationships with the powerful men in the city. With a little help from my politician friends, I helped Mahesh escape to the US, with the condition that he wouldn’t indulge in anything illegal there.”

He took a sip of water, and continued, “But Casinos, drugs, and unlimited access to strip clubs made his behaviour worse. He was handsomely paid as a maintenance engineer in plush hotels, but due to his addictions, he hardly saved money. He was soon engulfed in a mountain of debt. The only way out was selling the house. And he reached out to me again. You know the rest.”

Shubhangi was too shocked to react. She found the story difficult to believe. “Where is he now?”

“I am afraid I am not aware. We spoke four months ago. He told me he was moving to Texas. He has even changed his identity and no one knows where he is currently. I apologize for being a part of this scam but there’s nothing you can do now.”

Shubhangi was sobbing, inconsolably. Mahesh was the only source of happiness in her life, and even he betrayed her. She looked for an auto-rickshaw to take her to the shelter home, where she was destined to stay for the rest of her life.

It’s been nine months since the day. Shubhangi often wonders why her son did what he did, and why he chose a path he shouldn’t have. Was there a way she could have stopped him, she muses. Some days, she cries herself to sleep. Yet, she doesn’t hate her son. On the contrary, she has forgiven him and daily wishes for his happiness and safety. After all, a mother’s love is unconditional even if the son is unworthy of it.

Shubhangi likes taking a stroll in the garden, playing with young girls and sharing life’s secrets with the older women. She is beginning to feel at peace, for she is certain that her future would be better than her past. She looks around and does not see women with tragic pasts, but women with hope and optimism towards the future. And at that moment, her broken heart mends itself…