THE FUNDOO SIDE OF ME!!!

EVENING MUSINGS!!

2012-02-05T19:02:00.001+05:30

Evening musings!!

It’s one of those rare evenings,

When I have nothing substantial to do,

And I decide to take a walk in this pleasant weather,

Feeling the breeze; staring at the orange evening sun,

I admire the sun as it slowly sets down,

Giving way to a beautiful, starlit night,

And I wonder; sun is the perfect metaphor,

For life, for love, for relationships,

My mind drifts to thoughts of you,

As I begin to relive our journey together,

Yet again, I feel so lucky to have met you,

And honoured to have been cared and loved,

I was lost like a desert traveller when I first met you,

Distressed and lonely; in search of an oasis,

Life seemed tough; it was becoming harder each day,

For I had been heartbroken; and I didn’t want to live,

You understood what I was going through,

You felt my pain, by just looking at my eyes,

You gave me warmth; you gave me strength,

And slowly I began to recover, and start living again,

When you confessed that you loved me,

You knew I wasn’t in love with you back then,

Yet you understood I needed some more time to move on,

And patiently stood by me like a true friend,

Dear, it’s been more than six months,

Since that fateful day when you had proposed,

And today I can confidently say; I have moved on completely,

I love you truly, and I want a life with you,

Sometimes we feel sad that the sun’s setting,

And fail to appreciate the beauty of the moon,

We brood over the past; we whine and fail to enjoy,

The myriad beauties of life, that the present offers,

This evening walk is what I needed,

To gain a better perspective about life,

As I walk back home, I thank God for giving me pain,

For without that, I never would have experienced the joy of living....

THIS GHASTLY FEELING OF EMPTINESS!!

2011-12-25T11:39:00.001+05:30

This ghastly feeling of emptiness!!

Have you ever noticed the morning dew,

As a sleeping leaf it gently kisses,

Just like I have so often imagined you,

Every morning when you wake me up,

No friend has ever cared for me, like you have,

You have been there when I was depressed,

No one’s ever made me feel so special, like you have,

Through your personalized gifts, and incessant praises,

Always guiding me, my strength you are,

The reason for my smile, the reason I am alive,

It doesn’t matter if you are near or far,

You are my shadow; always with me,

Thinking about memories doesn’t tear me up,

But knowing deep down that they won’t repeat,

Knowing that we won’t meet much, tears me up,

And without you here, all I feel is this ghastly emptiness,

You won’t realize how lonely am I,

You won’t understand how much I miss you,

In your perpetual longing, at times I cry,

Thinking of all those times we spent together,

I want to always keep saying,

How important you are to me,

I wish you would fathom the depth of my feeling,

Which how much ever I try; I can’t express in words,

Somewhere my heart says, I have let you down,

And that’s why; I often feel you are going away,

And as I look at the sun setting down,

I wonder; is our bond sinking too,

But then I realize I am so wrong,

Our bond is unbreakable; I know for sure,

With me, holding my hand, you will always tag along,

And effortlessly I let go of this ghastly feeling of emptiness......

THE MUFFLED VOICE!!

2011-12-13T13:55:00.000+05:30

The muffled voice!!

Right now, in my Mother’s womb,

Helpless and clueless; I keep crying,

But you can’t see, for you are busy,

Planning my murder; as for justice I keep demanding,

I wanted these nine months to pass soon,

So that I could look at the world beautiful,

To breathe in fresh air, to experience its bounty,

Seldom I knew; to dream of it, I was a big fool,

I wish you could hear me. Dad,

And feel the emotions of your daughter,

I wanted you to be my most favourite person,

Who pampered me endless, and fulfilled my desire,

Mom, how can you do this to me,

Didn’t you love me even a bit, all this while,

I was in your protective shelter,

Perhaps I wrongly felt, my presence made you smile,

Won’t I even get a single opportunity,

To see you, to hug you, to be in your presence,

My parents, to you, I plead; to you, I ask,

Is being of the fairer sex such a big offence,

I wish someone would hear my muffled voice,

Alas, my words would always remain unspoken,

I would soon be brutally slaughtered,

And with utmost care, the crime would be hidden,

Millions like me suffer every day,

Those who survive, die a slow death,

Cursed and tormented for being a woman,

Throughout their lives; till their last breath,

If there’s a God, he will listen to our pleas,

He will save us; he will show us a way,

Helpless I keep crying in my mother’s womb,

Wishing for a miracle, every moment, every day..............

A REMORSEFUL FRIEND!!

2011-12-10T17:54:00.000+05:30

A remorseful friend!!

You always felt I didn’t give you,

The importance which you truly deserved,

I made you feel I didn’t care about you,

Coz throughout, I kept giving preference to others,

Dear, I cared for you more than I ever did show,

I prayed for your success; daily I wished for your happiness,

But all that, how will you ever know,

For my actions never matched my feelings,

I taunted you, I teased you with many a harsh comment,

Without realizing how much it must have hurt you,

Yet you never said a word in return nor did you lament,

And bore my harsh words for the sake of our friendship,

I don’t know whether I even have the right,

To apologize to you, for my mistakes,

I wish I could meet you and hug you tight,

And make up for all what I did to you back then,

I wish I could tell you that I am grateful to you,

For being a true friend in a phase when I had nobody,

I wish you would understand how much I value,

The times we spent chatting, the joyous moments,

I am proud of you for travelling beyond seven seas,

For fulfilling your ambitions; making your parents proud,

I want you to make a lot of splendid memories,

But I do hope, a part of you will miss me there,

I thank you for being so caring and kind,

And the smiles you gave; the tears you wiped,

This nostalgic feeling would be etched in my mind,

Permanently, till I die and even beyond.............

THE PERFECT BOND!!

2011-12-05T20:16:00.001+05:30

The perfect bond!!

My mind drifts back a few years,

To the time we had met as strangers,

I am amazed by the roller-coaster ride we shared,

And finally ended up being each other’s best friend,

I take a bit too long to make friends,

But then I make sure the friendship never ends,

We are long past the phase of misunderstandings,

And know we’ll always be there for each other,

Circumstances and rumours galore,

Tried to distance us, but not anymore,

For even fate has realized this now,

That our bond’s perfect; we are inseparable,

I had thought this huge distance would weaken,

But on the contrary, our bond did deepen,

I can’t stay without talking with you daily,

And I am sure you perpetually feel my void too,

I feel extremely joyous to have you around,

I am elated that in you, my best friend I found,

Perfect bonds are found only in movies and novels,

But we made it possible in reality too,

I don’t know how to tell you how important you are,

And every moment I wish I wasn’t so afar,

I miss your calming presence a lot,

And I know you constantly need me beside too,

I am your angel; you are my shadow,

Perennially with each other; steady as the earth below,

I will always pray for our bond to remain as it is now,

Coz I can’t live without you; and neither can you.......

TO THE BEST MOTHER EVER!!

2011-11-15T19:36:00.002+05:30

To the best mother ever!!

I wish I could be beside you right now,

On such a memorable and joyous occasion,

I feel so jealous and so helpless,

Coz I can’t be a part of the celebration,

For a long time, I thought of gifting you something,

But as usual, I ran out of ideas, Mother,

All I can give you is a short poem, just to tell you,

You are special; I am incomplete without you here,

I miss you more than you can imagine,

I miss you much more than I’ll ever show,

I miss you every moment, when I am alone,

I miss you much more than you’ll ever know,

Maybe I didn’t value you much when I was with you,

I kept arguing with you at times, for no reason,

But your absence has made my heart grow fonder,

And I apologize to you, for all my faults, on this occasion,

As I scan my life, backwards,

Remembering countless moments of joy and sorrow,

I see a constant figure in all those moments; that’s you,

And without you, life at times, seems so hollow,

I feel luckiest to have a mother like you,

I miss your unconditional love and care, the most here,

The way you have handled me in every situation,

The way you always kissed away my tear,

You have always taught me to be kind and caring,

You have taught me to be humble and ethical,

I agree, I have made mistakes and hurt quite a few,

But I have always tried to follow your advice valuable,

I don’t know how to express my feelings,

Mother, you have not just given me birth,

You have made me what I am today,

For you have always strived to make my life worth,

Every time I feel depressed henceforth,

I’ll remember your words: Give your best,

The end result doesn’t matter; the efforts do,

As you always say, God will do the rest,

Your optimism and positive attitude makes me brave,

Your unconditional faith in me makes me strong,

I miss you a lot here, Mother,

As for those pats on the forehead and the mouth-watering food I long,

I know I have made a few mistakes at times,

But I promise you, I’ll be a better son from now on,

I am dying to meet you, my adorable Mother,

And I pray these two months would soon be gone,

Your unconditional love has taught me true meaning of love,

You have made sure my wishes never go unheard,

Today, I promise your loving son would never hurt you again,

I won’t break it ever; for it’s you who taught me to keep one’s word............

P.S: Happy Birthday, Aai!!!!!!

MY REVIEW OF "MISSION KNOWN" - A BOOK BY SHAISHAV SOLANKI, IIM-INDORE

2011-11-09T13:44:00.000+05:30

My review of "Mission Known" - A book by Shaishav Solanki, IIM-Indore

Before I write about the book, I would take this opportunity to appreciate the author’s courage in following his dreams. Many of us feel about writing a book; publishing our thoughts, making them known to the world, but we rarely do so. The author is my colleague at Indian Institute of Management, Indore and more importantly, a good friend that I have found, hopefully for life. Some may feel that the review of the book would be biased and flattering coz the author’s my friend; but those who know me well will obviously be sure that I don’t feel shy or afraid in criticizing people and accentuating flaws, if there are any.

I am dividing this review into three parts: Content & Concept, Narration style and lastly, my Personal Review, not as a reviewer but as a reader. Usually, the movie reviews I read inadvertently reveal the entire plot first, and spoil the fun of watching the movie. I would refrain from doing so here.

1) Content & Concept:

Most of the books written for youth, especially by Indian authors are love stories. This isn’t the case here, which I found refreshing. Yes, there’s an element of love in the book, but that’s not the central theme. The love story doesn’t seem forced, and blends beautifully with the plot of the book. As the back cover of the book says,” learning things in a different manner”, that’s precisely what the book is all about. This is a new concept, partly seen in the hit movie 3 Idiots, but never explored in the form of a book before.

As far as the content goes, the author backs his idea of “Mission Known” with real-life examples, which we tend to ignore. The content of Mission Known is loaded with heavy dialogues which are inspiring, especially in BOOK 8: COMYNA. Innovative metaphors are the key to the latter part of the book. I would put one here for illustration which is a dig towards the current education system “All people have different requirements. It’s like some people wanting prayers and some condoms. However, printing prayers on condoms satisfies nobody.”

When one reads the book, one feels the vicarious thrill of being Schuyler; be it during the interactions with family, his girlfriend or his teachers, and also during his learning phase, which is the beauty of this book. The book is also written in a lucid language which will appeal to everyone. The book truly reflects the author’s words “this book is for anyone who has ever had the urge to learn something.”

2) Narration style:

The narration style is unique i.e. the book doesn’t follow in a sequence. This book, just like the movie Memento, puts you in the shoes of the protagonist and gives you a real-time experience while going through the story. The book is like a jigsaw puzzle; and in the initial 30 odd pages, the reader might be left wondering what is happening in the book. But I advise readers to keep reading ahead; just like a jigsaw puzzle, the things do fall in place after a while. Also, in the book, there are a series of “Fast-Forward periods”, which leaves the readers intrigued. The author has been successful in building curiosity in the minds of the readers by terms like “Mr. X”, “Mission Known”, and even by hiding his girlfriend’s name, for a very long time.

Now moving on to the grammar part: I noticed that the book falls short of expectations on this front. But I am sure the author would make the necessary changes before the next print-run.

3) Personal Review:

The readers of this review may want to ask me three questions: How much would you rate this book on a scale of 1 to 5? Is it worth the money spent in buying the book? Does the book convey the message it wishes to convey?

Firstly, my rating would be 3.5 on a scale of 1 to 5. The parameters which I have taken into consideration are the concept, the content, flow of the story, the climax and the word choice. The book excels in four of the five parameters and hence it deserves such a high rating. Moreover, such a thought-provoking book written by a debutante is creditable indeed.

Secondly, yes, the book is worth the money one spends to buy it, for the sheer weight I have given to the concept and the narration style. However, for those who weigh the price of the book on the number of pages, this book will be expensive.

Does the book convey the message it wishes to convey? Yes, it does. Does it inspire us to change? As the protagonist of the book says, “Those who want to change will change.”

To summarize: I would recommend the readers to read this book with an open mind; for it is a book with a unique concept, unique character names and an equally unique, narration style.

UNSPOKEN DESIRES!!

2011-10-26T10:37:00.001+05:30

Unspoken desires!!

Dreams are many, words are few,

To describe how much I need you,

But I’ll try to explain anyways,

How badly I want a life with you, my best friend,

My heart beats for you; my eyes lit up when I see you,

My pain goes away when I merely think of you,

You are my soul mate, a girl perfect for me,

And daily I pray I get to spend a life with you,

I want you to be the first girl I kiss,

I want to be the last guy you kiss,

I want to make all our dreams a reality,

And make this year spent with you, continue for a lifetime,

With you, I want to visit all the places we know,

Climb on mountains, and play in the snow,

Just as we had imagined, so often,

And just thinking about it even now, makes me happy,

I love hearing your voice the first thing in the morning,

And your sweet whispers, just before sleeping,

I want it to happen every day till I die,

I want to see you, as often as I can, if not daily,

I want long rides in the car,

Just you and me, driving afar,

A moonlit night, cool breeze and chocolates for company,

Just as we had once imagined in detail,

I want nice cosy dinners with you,

And someday I want to dance with you,

My hands around your waist, yours around my shoulder,

Not a word exchanged, but conveying feelings through the eyes,

I love the way you manage to take care of me, always,

I am awed by how you make me fine, always,

When I am down, you make me recover so quickly,

You are truly an awesome person, one of the best I know,

Each day, I want to give you an unending hug, tight,

As we meet after a tiring day at office, at night,

And tell you how much I missed you all day,

And how I wish I could be with you, every moment,

I want to build a home with you,

And make every minute detail that we discussed, come true,

It doesn’t have to be in an uptown locality,

But wherever it is; we would make it perfect,

I want you to be a part of my family get-together,

And they would love you and pamper you as a daughter,

I want you to be a part of those joyful moments,

That only a few lucky ones get in their life,

Our kid would be pampered by grandparents,

And so many uncles, aunts and cousins, not just us, parents,

He would be the luckiest child in the world,

Luckier than I would be to get a wife like you,

I want to spend our twenty-fifth anniversary on a cruise,

Reliving our life, feeling lucky that it was me you did choose,

To spend your life with, to share your joys and sorrows with,

To be my partner in sickness and in health, to be with me till the last breath,

Then someday one of us would die, leaving the other alone,

And the other would weep, forever forlorn,

Wishing for the end to come soon, wishing for death,

That would lead to heaven; where we shall meet again,

Sweetheart, these are my desires, hitherto unspoken,

I don’t know whether destiny will make it happen,

I am not optimistic; even if we don't have a future together,

I shall always pray for your unbound happiness,

I want to be with you, always and forever,

And it pains me to even think, it may not happen ever,

I wish the universe helps me; but even if it doesn’t,

I’ll live in memories, and smile, just dreaming about us..........

WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU??

2011-10-21T03:29:00.000+05:30

What would I do without you??

This poem can be dedicated to a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, a friend, a partner i.e. to anyone who has ever cared about you and who you are dependent upon. This poem’s for the person who you live for; yet at the same time, you feel you have let down and hurt the person in return for his or her selfless care...

You are the one person I want to make proud,

You are the one I seek, amidst a huge crowd,

Without you, I always feel an incomplete void,

An anxiety that can vanish only with your presence,

Yours are the loving expressions I wish to see,

Yours is the company with whom I always wish to be,

You are the one person I always want in my life,

For you are awesome; you are perfect, indeed,

What would I do without you,

I wonder; for I am so dependent on you,

You are the one whose opinion I seek at every crossroad,

And even at every small decision I am about to take,

There were times my problems didn’t seem to cease,

And yet you always sorted out my dilemma with ease,

You always seem to know what’s best for me,

A guiding angel you are, a God’s given gift, indeed,

Yours is the hand that wipes off my tears,

Yours is the voice that makes me let go of my fears,

Yours is the mind that always seems to understand,

All my frustrations, all what I am going through,

You helped me recover when I was torn and tattered,

You nursed me when I was bruised and battered,

You have made me fathom the depth of true feelings,

You have made me realize the meaning of love and care,

So effortlessly, you have loved me despite my imperfections,

So easily, you have borne my countless frustrations,

You have been there for me through thick and thin,

And today I regret I never did reciprocate the same,

I remember the moments when I hurt you immense,

When I tried destroying the very essence,

Of our bond, by betraying you, by perpetually breaking your trust,

Yet you forgave me each time, with the hope that someday I’ll mature,

I am sorry for all the times I let you down,

I am sorry for all the times I brought a frown,

To your face, through my disgraceful actions,

Though I know even a thousand apologies won’t suffice for my past sins,

But tonight I promise I’d be with you till my days end,

I would selflessly care for you till my days end,

Tonight I thank you for being my angel, my saviour,

You are a God’s given gift; tailor-made for me, indeed..................

CONFESSIONS OF A HEARTBROKEN KID!!

2011-10-15T12:32:00.001+05:30

Confessions of a heartbroken kid!!

You made me happy, you made me dream,

You made me fall in love again,

And so easily, I believed it will last this time,

But life and fate tortured me, yet again,

An exquisitely beautiful world you showed me,

Your care and affection was unparalleled,

And so effortlessly, I felt like we were meant to be,

My dreams were going to come true, I believed,

Then one fine day, it all changed; you left me stranded,

Groping in the dark, tears in my eyes,

You hurt me in the present, for the sake of your past,

And everything was a big fat lie, you made me realize,

I was distraught, I was shattered,

Never had I felt so lonely before,

Sleep eluded me, hunger left me,

And tears couldn’t stop as my life hit the floor,

I always thought I was special,

Maybe I am; but not in the way I thought,

Maybe I misinterpreted your care and words,

Maybe I dreamt too much, maybe too much I sought,

It was my mistake to think about the future,

Of a home, as lovely as we planned,

Or the small daily priceless moments of joy,

Or those legendary celebrations, a life better than we planned,

In times of solitude, to God I kept asking,

What was my mistake, what went wrong,

Why am I so incapable of being loved,

And for his wisdom, his answers I waited long,

Finally, a few days back, he sent me an angel,

And said she’ll look after you,

She will make sure you start smiling again,

She will ensure you never suffer in life; I assure you,

Under her aegis, in no time, I moved on,

And life became worth living again,

We often give too much importance to one person,

In retrospection, I wonder, was it worth the pain,

I realized one thing; however pompous it may sound,

If someone loses me; it’s their loss,

For no one can selflessly care as much as I do,

And thus, I permanently kicked my predicament across,

In life, you may suffer much heartburn,

But fate always gives another opportunity,

To smile, to dance; to leap, to rejoice,

That my friends, is the beauty of destiny..................

IN YOUR PERPETUAL LONGING!!

2011-09-01T15:59:00.001+05:30

In your perpetual longing!!

After yet another stressful day,

At three in the morning, on bed as I lay,

Eyes drooping, mind exhausted, body paining,

For a good night’s sleep I am hoping,

I close my eyes, and a moment later I find,

You creeping, as usual, into my mind,

That sweet smile, those gorgeous eyes I begin imagining,

And thus begins yet another night of your longing,

I think of calling you, but it’s too late,

And sadly, for a few more hours I would have to wait,

Before I could hear your sensuous voice,

I am so incomplete without you, yet again I realize,

My mind drifts to our romantic walks in the rain,

And I wish those happy days would come again,

Can you recollect the expressions on your face,

When we had once discovered an unknown, unexplored place,

I remember the time we had spent on the beach,

Staring at the horizon far away from our reach,

Holding hands, sentimental, silent; yet completely at ease,

Coz your presence is so comforting; and I wished time would freeze,

I long for the countless lunches which we had together,

Or the elaborate plans we made of our future,

Our magnificent house, our cute kids, many an extravagant dream,

But light years away, everything now does seem,

I then visualize our first and only kiss,

And the many tight hugs, so perfect, so bliss,

Sweetheart, I don’t know when I’ll get to see you again,

And that you’re not here gives me immense pain,

In your perpetual longing am I,

As to manage the gruelling schedules, I try,

I just can’t stop thinking about you,

As I live my life in delirium; in constant dreams of you.................

THE PARTING NOTE!!

2011-06-30T15:30:00.000+05:30

The parting note!!

I still can’t believe it’s time to part,

Albeit for a few months or years,

I always thought there will be a just a tinge of pain,

Never had I thought it would bring unstoppable tears,

As I scan my life, backwards,

Remembering countless moments of joy and sorrow,

I see a constant figure in all those moments; that’s you,

And sadly, that won’t be the case from tomorrow,

Our schedules would be so hectic,

That I won’t get time to talk with you,

Our lives would be so stressful,

That i won’t get to know what’s happening with you,

I am just going to be a faraway spectator,

In your life, as you climb the ladders of success,

I am going to end up as some friend from your past,

Who won’t have a share henceforth in your happiness,

I hope I am being cynical; I hope these are baseless fears,

I hope my importance in your life won’t go away,

I hope our bond is stronger than what I am imagining,

And I hope the moments spent with me won’t fade away,

Is there any place as such,

That will remind you of times spent with me,

Is there anything at all, I wish to ask,

That will make you think of me,

Even if you meet better people,

I pray that you will never forget me,

Even if you find sweeter friends,

I hope a small place in your heart; you’ll leave for me,

I may be going away for now,

But I don’t want to go away permanently from your life,

I hope occasionally you will keep me updated,

About various events that go on in your life,

There are still a few hours before I leave,

And I am happy I am spending them with you,

Building memories, that will help me,

Smile, when I am far away from you,

Thank you for all the amazing memories,

Thank you also for my lovely gift,

We may be parting for now,

But I hope that emotionally we shall never go adrift......

IF YOU WANT ME TO!!

2011-06-25T13:04:00.000+05:30

If you want me to!!

I can go away from you,

If you want me to,

I can live without you,

If you ask me to,

Yes, I want to spend time with you,

Yes, I want to be with you always,

But I don’t want to force you,

To be my partner in good and bad times,

I know I can’t make you happy,

I know I can’t make you smile,

Maybe that’s why you want to push me away,

Maybe that’s why you seem different these days,

I want to hold you tightly,

To tell you, I need someone like you,

To tell you, you have enriched my life,

And to say, don’t leave me, I need you,

Maybe I am being selfish,

In asking you to be by my side always,

And now I realize; if going away will make you happier,

Then I am ready to gleefully part,

Yes, I would be lonely without you,

Yes, there would be emptiness,

A void, which can never be filled,

And countless dreams left unfulfilled,

Yes, I would have no one to make me smile,

Yes, I would have no one to tell my problems to,

But don’t worry, someday I will be fine,

Maybe loneliness is what I am meant for,

Your smile is what I always craved for,

And if I can’t give you joy,

Then that shouldn’t stop you from seeking,

Someone who will make you endlessly happy,

Sweetheart, I can go away from you,

If you want me to,

I can live without you,

If you ask me to,

One thing I wish to say here,

That ever you need me in the future,

I’ll be there, to help you out,

Anytime, anywhere; without a doubt..........

EVERYTHING YOU WANT ME TO BE!!

2011-05-28T11:34:00.000+05:30

Everything you want me to be!!

I can be a shoulder to cry on,

I can be a friend that makes you laugh,

I can be everything you want me to be,

All I want is one opportunity,

I can be the lover you always wanted,

I can be the buddy you never had,

I can pamper you endless,

And give you tons of happiness,

I can be innocently romantic,

I can be the mature partner too,

I can be everything you want me to be,

All I want is one opportunity,

I will fulfill all your dreams,

Life with me would be full of comforts,

You will be the princess you desire to be,

All I need is one opportunity,

I know I am not perfect,

But for you, I will try hard to become,

Coz all I wish is reciprocation of my love,

That’s the only thing I pray for, to God above,

I will be the selfless partner,

I won’t expect much from you,

I will be everything you want me to be,

All I need is one opportunity,

I desire to be a part of your life,

Till you die, and even beyond,

And I promise I would bring a smile,

On your face, and keep you cheerful all the while,

I get a dream daily; I am waiting,

With my arms outstretched,

And you come running to me; I lift you,

Hug you tightly and say, I love you,

I know an amazing person like you,

Deserves a better partner than me,

But I’ll change; I’ll be everything you want me to be,

Coz all I want is to be with you, till eternity…………………

POEM NO. 225 - UNFULFILLED DESIRES!!

2011-05-09T21:37:00.000+05:30

Poem No. 225 – Unfulfilled desires!!

When I set out on this journey,

I believed I could sail through,

Victorious, triumphant I would end up, I thought,

But bitter disappointments are what I mostly got,

I believed my dreams would come true,

My desires will eventually be fulfilled,

However ambitious and big they may be,

Coz I always thought I had the potential in me,

I imagined a life full of joy and luxury,

If I get the things I badly wanted,

But I couldn’t make my dreams a reality,

And now I have realized; some things just aren’t meant to be,

I had hoped I would reach the skies,

Or maybe even higher I wanted to go,

But now as I look back, I ponder,

Am I good enough for my dreams, I wonder,

Why wasn’t I realistic at all, I am thinking,

Why did I dream big in the first place,

I just couldn’t estimate where I stand,

And now my frustration, very few can understand,

I had high expectations from myself,

But missing was the smartness,

And also maybe the required intellect,

And so I failed; a fact which I now have to accept,

But I do have a good alternative with me,

This rejection is surely not the end,

Maybe life was meant to be this way,

And I can surely try again, another day,

I wonder why we often forget that,

There will always be unfulfilled desires,

In life; and many a lost conquest,

But that shouldn’t ever deter us from living life to the fullest………..

THAT FEELING CALLED LOVE!!

2011-05-02T19:06:00.000+05:30

That feeling called love!!

I spent one year in her longing,

I just couldn’t forget her, and anything,

That she had said and done,

I tried hard, but just couldn’t move on,

Friends told me to stop living in the past,

And dream about the future that will last,

But I didn’t want to listen to their advice,

Coz without her I was a lifeless robot,

I began thinking that all girls as evil,

And heartless; and love just doesn’t exist,

And daily I wished I could end up,

At the top of a girl’s priority list,

My friends kept telling me to wait,

And I’ll soon find a girl, who will reciprocate,

My love, and give me endless joys,

And thus I began praying for that blissful day,

My prayers were heard sooner than I thought,

I met the perfect girl; endowed with all the qualities I sought,

And as I began to know her,

I was gripped by that feeling called love,

Love happens only once, I had strongly believed,

And now falling in love again made me happy and relieved,

Then came the harder part,

That of confessing my love to her,

After mulling over the proposal for hours,

I mustered courage and gave her a bouquet of flowers,

Along with a note which said,

“I think I am falling in love with you,

Is there a way, by which you can fall in love with me,

Is there a way you can start dreaming about me,

Every moment, daily I wish I knew,

Coz I don’t want to end up as just a friend,

As I look at you, I realize,

You have the most beautiful eyes,

I don’t want to admire you secretly,

But I want to spend my life with you,

I want to keep doing small things for thee,

Just to see you smile, just to see you happy,

I don’t know what our destiny is,

But it’s a lovely feeling just to be in love,”

I waited patiently for her answer,

A minute she took, which seemed like forever,

And then she smiled at me,

And uttered the magical words, “I love you too”,

Since then I am on cloud nine,

This feeling is truly divine,

I don’t know where destiny will lead us,

But for now, I was happy to be with her,

Life is strange; it makes you weep,

It bruises you, wounds you deep,

But then a moment comes when you get,

All you want; a priceless moment when you find your true love…………..

I DON'T WANT TO GO AWAY!!

2011-04-30T12:34:00.000+05:30

I don’t want to go away!!

Have you realized that soon I won’t be there,

To comfort you when you need me,

I won’t be there to talk,

When you are feeling lonely,

I won’t be there to bring a smile,

On your face, and see the twinkle in your eyes,

And admire the plethora of expressions you make,

Or be captivated by the sweetness in your voice,

We keep telling each other,

That soon, we shall meet again,

But the truth is that life’s going to change,

And it will bring a lot of pain,

When I am away from you, I’ll realize,

How much happy I was with you,

And how you managed to enrich my life,

And make me forget the world when I spent time with you,

We have been there for each other,

In good and bad times, in joy and sorrow,

I don’t want to go away from you,

Coz alone, I see a bleak tomorrow,

Some say distance strengthens bonds,

But I have a deep-rooted fear in my heart,

That I would be constantly missing you,

And this distance would tear us apart,

In the past few months, I have become addicted,

To you, I feel like talking to you all day,

And it will be really tough to live,

Without seeing you everyday,

I don’t want to go away,

But life’s cruel; I have to,

One promise I wish to make is that,

I will never forget the memories; I’ll never forget you,

I don’t know if we’ll ever meet again,

But I will keep caring for you till the end,

And pray that you are happy wherever you are,

And you will always remain my best friend……

THE FRIEND YOU FORGOT!!

2011-04-09T10:45:00.000+05:30

The friend you forgot!!

I am the one who tries to keep you happy always,

I am the one who tries to understand you always,

i am the friend who caters to all your whims and demands,

And yet i am the friend you forgot,

I care for you more than I'll ever show,

I care for you more than you will ever know,

You won't ever realize my worth,

Coz you just take me for granted,

Remember the times you had fights,

And you needed company on lonely nights,

I have been there for you at all times,

Yet you perpetually fail to remember that,

Remember the times I did travel,

A lot for you, just to make you feel special,

Why can't you see that i can do anything,

Just to bring a smile on your face,

If I can do so much for you,

Is it wrong to expect from you,

To support me for once,

To comfort me, when I am in pain,

Is it wrong to expect you to pamper me,

When all I want is to be,

Loved and made to feel wanted,

Is it wrong to expect, I wonder,

Even when we meet, your mind's somewhere else,

Thinking about something else,

As i wait for my presence to be acknowledged,

As I wait for the time spent with me to be valued,

Somewhere I wish you would realize,

That if I were to die, I hope,

You will undertand how much i have done for you,

And then you'll regret for not having given me my due...................

THE FRIEND I PRAYED FOR!!

2011-03-08T10:50:00.001+05:30

The friend I prayed for!!

Amidst self-centered people,

Who only manipulate friends,

I am thankful that you I found,

I am grateful to have you around,

I am awed by your persona,

With all the qualities you are laden,

Be it cuteness, be it sweetness,

Be it smartness, be it greatness,

I can’t express how happy I feel,

To have someone who understands me,

To have a buddy who I can trust immensely,

A companion with whom I am always happy,

I have quite a few friends,

But true ones like you are rare,

One who hates seeing me sad even for a short while,

And who will do anything to make me smile,

There were times when you weren’t there,

And misunderstandings threatened to break our bond,

But I know; it will never happen,

And our friendship will always deepen,

My friend, even when I am angry,

Or upset because of you,

You can always count on me,

And near you, for you, I’ll always be,

You are the friend I always wanted,

You are the one I always prayed for,

With you around, my happiness never fades away,

I wish I could be with you everyday……….

I WISH- PART 2 !!

2011-02-18T10:22:00.002+05:30

I wish- Part 2!!

I wish I could have sweet talks with you,

I wish I could go on long walks with you,

I wish I could get that importance,

Which you give to someone else,

I know I am smarter than him,

I know I am better than him,

I know I would keep you happier,

Yet why do you choose him over me,

Is there a way to stop you,

Is there a way to say, don’t go, I need you,

Is there a way to show how much,

I love you, to prove how much I care,

I want to be close to you, to kiss you tenderly,

I want to caress you, to make love to you passionately,

I want to hold you in my arms,

To gaze into your eyes, to fondle your hair,

I feel that in your absence, in tears,

In pain and in fears,

In your perpetual longing,

My life has to be lived maybe,

I wish I had one chance,

I wish I could ask u out once,

I wish I could express how I feel,

But sadly, you’ll never know,

One thing I must now realize,

One thing I must understand,

One thing I should learn,

Is to move on; coz sadly you won’t ever be mine……….

YOU BELONG TO ME!!

2011-02-13T22:31:00.000+05:30

You belong to me!!

You belong to me,

And you will always be,

Close to my heart,

Although we are miles apart,

It took me time to realize,

That in life, just your care will suffice,

I need no money or anything else,

As long as you are with me,

With you around, time just passes by,

You are the only one, who understands me,

You are the only one, who knows me,

And I wish I could spend more time with you,

So easily you manage to wipe off my tears,

So effortlessly you make me let go of my fears,

I can be myself with you,

Coz I know even my stupidity won’t affect you,

Even if the whole world hates you,

I promise I’ll be there for you,

Even if the whole world hurts you,

I promise I’ll always take care of you,

If I were asked for a wish,

That I want to get fulfilled,

Then that would be your unending happiness,

A life without any distress,

If I were asked a question,

Who is the luckiest person in the world,

Then I would say it’s me,

Coz a gem of a partner I have found,

My love, you belong to me,

And you will always be,

The apple of my eye,

Every moment, every day till I die,

So let us promise to be together,

And make this a journey to remember,

Let us carve dreams filled with magic,

And create a world lovelier than heaven………….

STORY- "THE WORLD OF NEIL JOSEPH!!"

2010-12-25T20:04:00.004+05:30

The world of Neil Joseph!!

Today on occasion of my second anniversary, I have decided to write a story. An autobiography. An insight into my world. Not my entire world, just a part of it. But an integral and the most important part of my life. Love and friendship.

Welcome to the world of Neil Joseph, welcome to the world of Neil and Ria …..and Swati!!

The beginning!!

Love is just a waste of time. Countless romantic movies with typical stories, twists, and endings made me a strong “anti-love” person. (If there’s a word of that kind) But like all opinions, even this changed. It had to change. Coz I met an angel.

It was the first day of college. I was shy, aged 16, walking alone, amidst the crowd, towards the auditorium for an orientation lecture. While some of the others were busy searching for some good-looking girls (hot chicks), I was nervous about my academics, my grades. I was thinking about my ambitions, my dreams. My nickname in school was “Neil, the nerd!!” and I perfectly lived up to that sobriquet.

“May I sit next to you?”

“Yea, sure”

“Thanks.”

“I am Neil.”

“Nice to meet you, Neil. And I must say you are really cute.”

“Thanks.”

If you think that’s how I met Ria, well, you are mistaken. The conversation wasn’t fake. It’s just that the girl was Swati who ended up being my best friend. (I did add that “cute” thing though. I wonder why no girl has ever called me cute on the first day. It usually takes a girl three meetings to find me cute. Quite a pomous statement, one might say. But it is the truth.)

I met Ria a few days later in the canteen by coincidence. Well, coincidences are sweet, aren’t they? She wanted a Mangola. She handed a 100 rupee note but the man at the counter didn’t have change. And that’s when I happened to walk into the canteen.

“Excuse me, do u have 12 bucks?”

“Ya.”

I gave her the money and said, “Return it to me the next time we meet.” (That was a line that I shouldn’t have said but I nevertheless did. Quite an idiot I was back then.)

The first three months weren’t that memorable. While I ended up befriending Swati, the only conversations I had with Ria were about studies, that too in dingy labs. Ria was pretty, undoubtedly the most beautiful girl in college. Many had a crush on her, and she “crushed” the hopes of all those roadside Romeos effortlessly. I had heard that eight people (including a girl) proposed to her within the first two months of college. To such suckers I wish to say, “Infatuation isn’t love.” It was a different thing that I didn’t know what love was, either.

Months just went by. Nine, to be precise. Swati, Ria and I had become inseparable. The three of us went for movies, ate out and spent weekends at Swati’s house.

Swati was the sweetest, most down-to-earth person I had ever met. And also the richest amongst us. I had always been attracted to her house. It was on the 14^th floor in a plush locality of Mumbai with a breathtaking view. I even considered marrying her and settling in that house, just for the view. (I regret having made this comment because it caused quite a furore in my life later on…..)

Ria, as a person was quite a contrast to the way I was. She was easy-going, fun-loving whereas I was nerdy and boring. Well, opposites attract and that’s what happened.

The term “first love” was so exciting. I had seen teenage romances in movies and how the feeling of love truly transforms you and takes you to a different world altogether. You start dedicating songs for your lover. A romantic song makes you want to dance with her. Looking at other couples makes you want to be in their place, holding hands, spending a nice romantic evening together, looking at the glorious sunset, then walk on the beach for hours and finally end the day with a long, soft kiss at midnight. (Couples “do” other things too, but a “man of principles” that I am, I wasn’t going to do all those things till I would be “legally entitled” to do so. )

In those days, I began dreaming a lot. About Ria. About us. About our future. I even thought of our babies’ names. But the worst thing about dreams is that when you wake up, you realize that it was just a dream. Dreams come true, people say. An overly optimistic thought, I say because dreams never come true (except the nightmarish ones).

I was in love, no doubt but then came the hardest part. How should I confess my love to her? What if she rejects me? What if she never talks with me again? I had heard “one-sided love stories” break friendships and I didn’t want that to happen with me. This had once happened to a guy in school and he turned into a “non-drinking Devdas”. I didn’t want to lose such a good friend, because Swati and Ria were the only two friends I had.

I was utterly confused. I hadn’t even told Swati about my feelings for Ria. Day and night I kept thinking. I couldn’t sleep for five days. The dilemma exacerbated with every passing moment. Finally on the sixth day, I decided what I was going to do. I had finally, made up my mind…………

The proposal!!

It was the 3^rd of September, 2009, a public holiday. In short, it was a perfect moment to propose Ria. And I had a perfect plan. One phone call started it all.

“hey Swati… what’s up?”

“nothing great. getting bored at home.”

“let’s meet up at your place. We’ll watch “THE PROPOSAL”. I have it in my pen drive “

“Fine with me. Ask Ria if she’s free.”

I wanted to tell Swati about my real intention about the meeting but didn’t know how to tell her. I didn’t even know whether she was aware about my feelings for Ria. Swati sensed I was hiding something so she bluntly asked,

“ I have an intuition that you want to tell me something. So what is it? Blurt it out. “

I hated Swati’s intuitions that hardly ever came true. Be it the questions in an exam or our marks or even mundane things like someone’s dress colour on a particular day, Swati had intuitions about everything. But that moment, I neglected the word and said,

“Hey, I have feelings for Ria and I want to tell that to her after the movie. I have everything planned. Just want you to give us some privacy. Make some excuse and sneak out and then I’ll do the rest.”

That seemed so unethical. I had just asked someone to “get out” of her own house. A momentary pause and then she said, “I kinda knew it all along. Had an vision about it a few days back. All the best. Be fearless. And I am sure she’ll say “yes”. That’s another of my intuitions.” And then the devilish laugh.

I hated that dreaded I-word. Why did she have to say that? It made me all the more nervous.

I called up Ria, fixed up the plan at 3, prayed harder than ever, put on my best clothes and left for Swati’s house.

Usually, I watch movies intently, admiring the cinematography, the direction, the locales, the acting and everything else the cinema has to offer. But that day I didn’t care a damn what Sandra bullock was doing. The real “proposal” was yet to come.

“Nice movie. It was hilarious. It was fun. ” Ria commented immediately after the movie.

“ yup.” I said. I was feeling too shy that day. the whole proposal thing was getting on my nerves. I just wanted it to get over. At that moment Ria’s answer didn’t matter much. I just wanted the process to happen smoothly.

After some aimless chatting, Swati finally said, “hey, I have some work. Mom had said to buy some groceries. Will be back in sometime. You guys enjoy till then.”

“ya sure. Take your own sweet time.” I said. I was messing it up badly. I was being too obvious.

Just as swati was leaving, ria’s cellphone rang. It was her mother. While she talked on the phone, I kept fidgeting with my cellphone. As soon as she hung up, I blurted,

“so how would you want your guy to propose?”

“hmm…with flowers or chocolates. Or anything. No preferences. But nowadays guys lack courage. They are sissy like you.”

I was taken aback by that but I said, “ why do u think I lack courage?”

“well, you are very shy.”

“not anymore.”

Just then her cellphone “beeped.” It was a text from me. Surprised, she asked me “what did u text me just now?”

“read it. You will come to know.”

It seemed so surreal. I just hoped for a “happy ending.”

She opened the message and the next moment my heartbeats jumped to 150, I presume.

The message was as follows:

“ In life, luckily,
I have almost everything,
The only ingredient missing,
My love, it’s you,

My heart has chosen you,
Since a very long time,
It always keeps dreaming,
Of your hand in mine,

The first time I met you,
I remember the whole conversation,
That happened in the canteen,
As I long for it to repeat everyday,

Nothing can erase the memories,
From my mind that feels,
Your presence every minute,
As I keep praying to meet you again soon,

You make a boring journey,
Truly memorable and enjoyable,
You are such wonderful company,
So lovable and affable,

Each time we part,
I just can’t utter goodbye,
I don’t want you to go,
And I feel momentary sadness in the heart,

So many times I’ve thought,
Of a romantic evening,
With soft music playing,
And mild, gentle breeze rubbing your cheeks,

I love the innocent twinkle in your eye,
I am addicted to your smile,
To get you off my mind,
It’ll take an infinitely long while,

People say it takes a lifetime,
To find our soul mate,
But I am sure I’ve found mine,
In only my late teen,

In life nothing’s perfect,
But I know our relationship could be,
This I know a thousand percent,
A world of Utopia, indeed; just you and me,

I don’t know why,
I am making such a proposal,
But I’ll try not to cry,
If at all, I hear your refusal,

Dreams are many; words are few,
To describe how much I need you,
I live for you, and only you,
All I want is forever, just to be with you……”

Ria looked at me intently, and asked, “ are you serious?”

I gazed into those eyes and said, “more serious than I have ever been in my entire life.”

“so we are a couple now I guess? So should we give each other a hug?”

“so is that a yes? Awesome! I can’t believe it.” And I smiled. The million-dollar smile as people commonly say.

That evening, ria, swati and I went out for dinner. To welcome a new beginning. it felt great to change the Facebook relationship status to “in a relationship”….. I just hoped I won’t have to change it to “it’s complicated.”

The journey!!

It is an amazing feeling when dreams come true. It felt great to be committed.

Next day, after college, we went on our first date. It wasn’t grand, unlike how I had dreamt my first date would be. But one hour ten minutes spent at McD was fun. Frankly speaking, it didn’t feel much different. There were no cozy moments, no romantic talks; just like two friends hanging out. We decided to walk back to our house. It was raining.Our first walk in the rain,cuddled close, under one umbrella. Now we felt like a “couple.”

In the coming days, the time I spent on the phone with her increased drastically. If I wasn’t on phone, we would be texting each other. It was as if we couldn’t live even a single moment without each other. We told each other what we ate, which sitcom we were watching etc. Every single thing.

I also got a new nickname, “nectar.” Why that name? Till this date, I have no idea. But Ria thought it was unique and sweet, “a perfect name for a sweet person like me”. I felt flattered indeed.

There are only two problems in the initial phase of any relationship. First, your phone bills soar. Second, you begin to ignore other friends. Or at least that’s what they start telling you. Fortunately, LOOP MOBILE had a solution for both. The “10 ka gang” scheme proved to be a blessing. I didn’t care about the remaining eight numbers. All that mattered were the two – Ria and Swati. Cheaper call rates and cheaper messaging rates – the best gift any student could want.

All was good during the first six months. Rosy, indeed. Chats with Ria became a bit too corny at times. A bit perverted too. Well, “a bit” is an understatement. The intitial “gnsd” messages turned to “ gnwd” (good night, wild/wet dreams – a term that I should have coined, but was coined by her. ) We had heard about the term “phone sex”; but to implement it was even more enjoyable. The only problem with that was: neither of us took anything seriously. So if one of us made any such “arousing comment”, the other would laugh and our conversation would become “normal friendly stuff” again. It was such a happy phase of my life. Daily I would wish for it to last forever.

I remember a line I read somewhere, “ the real test of a relationship is not in the initial stages. It’s after a period of six months that misunderstandings begin to occur. And as we all know, cracks once developed widen over time.” Highly pessimistic, one might say. But true, indeed.

There’s always one issue that tends to divide couples. In my case, it turned out to be our mutual friend- cum- my best friend, Swati. And the worst part was that, this happened on the day of our first anniversary.

That day, Ria, in her black ( highly arousing) gown was looking a complete contrast to my casual shirt-jeans attire. We ordered fresh lime soda to start with. Neither of us was twenty-one so there was no chance of hard drinks being served to us. I had dreamt of sipping wine with my lover on my anniversary, then a slow dance, then a long, soft kiss. But as I said earlier, only nightmares come true; dreams don’t.

Ria seemed highly uncomfortable. I felt she wanted to tell me something. Being a frank person that she was, she said it directly.

“I feel you are in love with Swati.”

I thought she was kidding so I said, “yea. I wish I were spending my anniversary with her rather than with you.”

“I am serious.”

I took a sip from my fresh lime soda and said, “what do you mean?”

“ I mean I think you have feelings for swati.”

“what makes you say that?”

“you have said quite a few times that you would die for her. You would do anything for her. Just to see her happy. Haven’t you said it? What does that mean?”

“so just because I care for her means I am in love with her?”

“in this world, yes.”

“what about selfless friendships?”

“they don’t exist.”

“well, they do. Swati is my best friend. That’s it.”

“ the term “best friend” is used by people to hide their feelings.”

“I am not one of them. I never hide anything. I don’t lie. Relationships are based on trust. You don’t trust me?”

“hmm”

“hmm is the most confusing reply anyone could give.”

“I trust you. But there are situations where you treat her the same way as you treat me. You call her sweetheart, don’t you?”

“yes. But what’s wrong in that? Sweetheart’s commonly used by all. And that’s because she is special to me.”

“you have excuse for everything, don’t you?”

“it’s not an excuse.”

“here’s another instance. Didn’t you say that you love her house and you would marry her just to live in that house?”

“cmon, that was in jest. We have been together for one year now. You don’t know me?”

“sometimes I think I don’t know you at all.”

“Huh. So what do you want me to do?”

“stop being friends with swati. Or at least don’t talk to her daily.”

“I can’t stay without talking with her.”

“See, such words make me feel that you are in love with her.”

“love is not dependent on words.it’s based on feelings. And I don’t have feelings for her.”

“my heart says you do.”

“why are we discussing this? Why can’t we just enjoy? It’s our anniversary.”

“ how can this be an anniversary where there are so many issues to discuss?”

“you are creating issues.”

“you are blaming me as usual. You are Mr. Right, Mr. Ethical. You can never be at fault right?”

“if breaking friendship with swati is what you want, well, that can’t happen.”

“then break-up with me.”

“I don’t want to.”

“let’s take a break then. Maybe we will sort out our differences and then we can get together again . if not, we’ll part.”

“I don’t agree with you.”

“you have a better solution then?”

I shook my head.

The evening passed In silence. After bidding goodbye, the entire conversation started playing In my head. I knew Ria was the only girl I was in love with. I loved Swati too, but just as a friend. She was important to me. I couldn’t just end my ties with her just to keep Ria happy. I felt Ria was being unreasonable. But was she? Is it wrong to have a female best friend? It’s disappointing that even in 2010, people think “guys and girls can’t be just friends.” If I were to break ties with Swati, how would she feel? She needs a friend like me too.

Why is life so complicated? Why can’t things be normal? Why is there a fall after every rise? It was time to change my facebook relationship status to “it’s complicated.”

The letter!!

The events of the previous night had completely shattered me. I had never felt this confused and vulnerable before. Sad songs ran in my head, depressing words came out from my mouth. And in those moments of melancholy, I wrote a poem.

“Why did u leave,

When there was so much love,

I had yet to give,

Leaving me all alone,

We could have sorted out,

All the existing problems,

We could have found out,

Better and effective solutions,

We were an epitome,

For all romantics die-hard,

We could have been carved,

In monuments of stone,

I knew we had the spark,

For our love to sustain,

All the moments tense and dark,

But now it’s all in vain,

Life is about adjusting,

Love is about understanding,

I can’t believe it’s all over,

When I was meant to be with you forever,

What was my mistake,

When for you, I was willing,

To put my life at stake,

Coz being with you was such a blessing,

Life’s all about hope and belief,

All I want is to be with you,

And I’m sure one day you’ll come back,

Coz our love is everlasting, deep and true………..”

The last stanza was optimistic indeed. And something rare from a pessimist like me. I finally slept around 6 am. But not for long. A beep on my cell phone woke me up at 7.30 am. As I walked to the dressing table, I prayed that the text was be from ria, apologising for everything that had happened the previous night. But it was not to be. The sender was Swati and the message was, “ meet me at 11.30 CCD. Urgent. “

I hadn’t said anything to her about what had happened the previous night. I was tempted to tell her everything that moment. I even typed a text, “ I broke up. Not in a mood to meet you.” But then I remembered one of the promises I had made to swati, “whatever happens between me and ria, I promise that I will never cease being friends with you and I also promise that I will be there with you, whenever you need me, wherever you need me, anytime, anywhere….”

And so I replied, “yup. Will be there. Don’t be late.”

I wonder why we give so much importance to our lover at the cost of everyone else. Now as I look back,I feel glad that I didn’t ignore swati that fateful day.

“hey I didn’t expect you to be on time. By the way, why are you looking so depressed? “

“can we grab a seat first? “ Swati replied. But I was sure something was wrong. I just hoped it wasn’t anything serious.

Unlike the other times we met, not much was spoken that day. After some mundane conversation, she handed me a letter. “I want you to read this.”

“ Hi Neil, the best buddy anyone can get on this earth… this note’s for you.. and for all the memories that we shared…

You have been there for me more than even my mother. You have stood by me in good and bad times more than any husband would. You have been such a sweetheart. An adorable friend I just enjoy talking with. I remember every bit of the conversations we shared. Friends like you are rare. You made me understand the meaning of true friendship. In a world full of bastards and bitches, you and ria are the only two angels and I am lucky to have met the two of you. Especially you.

I always thought that once you get a girlfriend, you would forget me. I would be just some acquaintance then. But thanks for proving me wrong. You don’t know this but in reality, I was scared on 3^rd sept 2009. I didn’t want to lose my best friend. I am glad that didn’t happen and our bond actually deepened. You might think that some of the stuff I have written Is repetitive, but you deserve it….every bit of it…

I am sorry for having hurt you in the past, for not being there for you at times, for saying things that I shouldn’t have said. Thanks again for understanding me completely, for forgiving my mistakes, for ignoring my flaws……….thank you for everything.

p.s- You remember right that you and ria and me and my husband are going to have honeymoon together? Well, I relieve you from that promise today. You can enjoy your honeymoon whenver you want and may you have a good life with her. May you have amazing children……………and if possible name one of them “Swati.”

Neil, I don’t know how to say this…..Now I know why I wasn’t feeling well in the past few months. I came to know it three days ago, but I didn’t want to ruin your anniversary celebration……… I have breast cancer. Well, it’s rare for an eighteen year old to get that. Tha’s what the doctors told me. But I am “special”. I am “unique.” But only in the negative things. Why can’t I be happy? ………….. ”

The letter left me confounded. I looked at her. And there she was crying profusely. I got up and hugged her and kissed her forehead.

“Sweetheart, it’s going to be okay. You are not going to die. We are going spend our honeymoons together. It was a deal which won’t be broken.”

“promise me you will name your daughter swati.”

“nah. I won’t. coz she can’t have the name as her favourite aunt. Right? You are going to live long. You are going to play with my children. You are going to have children of your own. I promise.”

“Thanks Neil. Your words, however fake they be, always give me relief. Now stop hugging me. People are watching us. And you know that I don’t like melodrama and sentimental moments.” And she laughed. But I knew that her heart was crying. So was mine.

We chatted for more than three hours. All the happy stuff, the priceless moments. After I bid her goodbye, the intensity of the words,” I HAVE BREAST CANCER.” sank in. I wondered, was my best friend going to die? The break-up didn’t matter anymore. I could break-up a thousand times but I wanted Swati to be fine again. I wanted things to be normal again.

I sent a text to Ria, “hi, swati has breast cancer. You may not want to talk with me, but be with her. She needs us… please.. for the past memories.”

Few minutes later, Ria called. I didn’t know what my relationship status was. But frankly, I didn’t care. We spent a couple of hours, consoling each other. “everything’s going to be fine.” Were the most used words that day.

On the outside, I tried to be calm and composed as if nothing’s wrong. I behaved as if cancer was just a “ viral fever” but inside, I felt that I was going to lose my best friend. Till a few days back, I had always thought that it would be “distance” that would break “the fantastic trio” and not “death.” And I cried again. Profusely.

And that night, for the first time in a long time, I prayed………not for myself, but for my best friend……………….

The survival!!

How can a person aged eighteen have cancer? That too, breast cancer. I had read on the internet that it’s extremely rare. Then why swati? Why? I mean, why would God want to hurt such an angel? Surely he can’t be that big a sadist. Or maybe he didn’t exist. Maybe god was infact,a devil.

What the hell was I blabbering? I immediately prayed to God, “sorry for calling you a devil. I know you are not. But please prove it. Please take care of swati. “

Doctors reiterated the fact that Swati had stage-1 cancer so there was nothing to worry. It was rare, but they assured that she would soon be cancer-free. I was awaiting that day. In the next six months, Swati became my first priority. I made sure I was there for her always. Be it at the hospital, or at her home. i was trying to be what her letter said I was. The best buddy. The adorable friend.

Ria too, did her bit. She was there for swati, as often as she could. But more importantly, Ria’s presence was the support I needed. Darwin had coined the term “survival of the fittest.” I modified it to “survival of the cutest.” Swati liked that name. That was the best part.

When Swati’s treatment was going on, the three of us saw all the sitcoms that we knew. F.R.I.E.N.D.S, How I met your mother, castle and even The Simpsons. I still remember the moments when while we were laughing, suddenly I would start crying and then I would hold back her tears lest Swati should see them and get depressed again.

During that phase, I wrote many poems for swati, the best one being “GET WELL SOON!!” :

“I can’t see you so low and sick,

I can’t imagine you so mellow and meek,

I just can’t see you crying,

I just want to hear you blabbering,

There’s nothing to worry,

Nothing’s happened to you really,

Believe me,I am not lyin’,

In few days you’ll be fine,

Let your mind drift to,

All the lectures we bunked together,

To watch countless movies of horror,

And every time, I tried to scare you,

Do you remember the evening we spent,

Eating the cookies you made,

And I just kept telling,

I was glad I didn’t suffer from food poisoning,

Do you remember our group dance erstwhile,

When you had tripped and cried,

As for four hours to console you I tried,

Before finally you did smile,

You have been through days rough,

But you have effortlessly hung on,

Coz you are mentally tough,

And you know this phase will soon be gone,

So just close your eyes,

Let your mind drift,

To all the days nice,

And this dark cloud cover will sure lift,

You still have to fulfil many dreams,

You still have to experience many feelings,

Everything’s going to be all right,

The dark phase will soon vanish from sight,

I know you’ll fight back,

Coz you have the courage that many lack,

Get well soon, is all I’ll tell you,

And remember that Ria and I miss you……………..”

Our prayers worked. God finally blessed us and showered all the love he could, upon the three of us.It was 26^th August, 2011. A day that I would remember always. The doctors declared Swati “cancer-free.” Obviously, there were the usual things they said regarding “follow-ups”, “routine check-ups” etc but it certainly, was time to rejoice.

The “cutest” had survived. She had fought galliantly and if I were to give a bravery award to someone, it would be to her. It was amazing to see her fight through moments of excruciating pain. It was unbelievable to see her smiling in adversity. For me, swati was a true winner. An inspiration to everyone suffering from cancer.

I always see people whining, though they have everything. I was one of those. But not anymore. Swati’s tryst with cancer managed to make me feel grateful for all that I have. It made me get rid of all my regrets, unfulfilled dreams, unreciprocated desires etc. Her cancer proved to be a turning point in shaping my personality. I ended up being a fearless optimist. Something I had always aimed to be.

26^th August 2011 was a memorable day, indeed. But the best was yet to come……………..

Priceless moments!!

That evening, the three of us went to Marine Drive, just to experience the monsoon.

“It feels so great to be together again. I love the breeze. I just love this place.”

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, Swati asked something that stumped me. “so what are you guys doing on your second anniversary? “

Gosh, we hadn’t told anything to Swati about our “break”. The year had gone so fast that I too, hadn’t realized about the anniversary. I looked at Ria, thinking of what to tell Swati. Or whether to tell her anything that day.

Ria gave her the classic evasive answer, “ well, we haven’t decided anything as of now. “ I felt relieved. We dropped swati off. It was late when we left from her place, so I offered to walk with Ria to her house. It felt awkward. Swati’s question kept repeating continuously in my head.

“good answer you gave swati.” I said to Ria.

“ huh. that was the truth. We have to decide something. Time’s running out. So you decide something tonight itself.”

Her answer baffled me. “so you mean to say, are we still together? You had broken up with me, remember? “

“it was a break, my Nectar…..not a break-up. In the past eleven months, I have realized how impulsive, stupid and unreasonable I was. I am sorry. People like you are rare. I want to spend my life with you, I am sure.” A pause and then she added, “Do you want to move on? Have you moved on?”

“naah. Never. You are my first love. My only love. We are going to spend fifty years together. Remember? Forever and always. Coz I love you truly, madly, deeply…..and will always do so“

It seemed so “filmy.” Some might be repelled by such dialogues, but trust me, when you say such dialogues, they seem truly romantic. Truly wonderful. Truly blissful.

That night, I texted a poem : “PRICELESS MOMENTS!!” to my two best friends……..who meant the world to me.

“Sometimes we seek happiness,

In the grandest of things,

But it’s strange we get true joy,

In the smallest of things,

An evening spent with you means more,

Than a lifetime with some random friend,

Some memories truly remain,

Priceless till the very end,

I don’t know if I have told you this,

But everytime I meet the two of you,

When we part, the very next moment,

I begin to miss you,

I can’t sleep for hours at night,

As the moments spent with you,

I keep thinking about,

It’s not an exaggeration,

You were there for me,

When I needed a friend,

You are the two I will count upon,

Always, forever, till my days end,

There were times we fought,

There were time I must have hurt you,

But it’s said, when you are great friends with someone,

They have the complete right to hurt you,

My care for you is unconditional,

And I promise to be there,

Whenver you need me,

Come what may, anytime, anywhere……………………..”

As I kept the cellphone beside me, I realized: There is an uncanny resemblance between real and reel life. Life is indeed, a “bollywood movie”…… romance, drama, fights,joys, sorrows, songs (or in my case, poems); but most importantly, “A HAPPY ENDING”…………………………

THE END!!

p.s- this was my 2nd story....

here's the 1st story: that's related to engineering graduates- MBA or MS? and whether distance affects bonds or not......

http://ninadbhangle.blogspot.com/2009/12/pripu-and-dumbo-story-of-my-life.html

PRICELESS MOMENTS!!

2010-12-21T09:10:00.001+05:30

Priceless moments!!

Dedicated to my two best friends…

Sometimes we seek happiness,
In the grandest of things,
But it’s strange we get true joy,
In the smallest of things,

An evening spent with you means more,
Than a lifetime with some random friend,
Some memories truly remain,
Priceless till the very end,

There was a time I gave,
Undue importance to my lover,
At the cost of friendship,
Now I realize, even friendship does matter,

This change in my mindset,
Wouldn’t have been possible,
Had I not met angels like you,
Whom I care for, yet like to annoy and trouble,

I don’t know if I have told you this,
But everytime I meet the two of you,
When we part, the very next moment,
I begin to miss you,

I can’t sleep for hours at night,
As the moments spent with you,
I keep thinking about,
It’s not an exaggeration,

You were there for me,
When I needed a friend,
You are the two I will count upon,
Always, forever, till my days end,

There were times we fought,
There were times my callous words hurt you,
But it’s said, when you are close to someone,
They have the complete right to hurt you,

My care for you is unconditional,
And I promise to be there,
Whenver you need me,
Come what may, anytime, anywhere,

The future without you, no doubt looks bleak,
But one thing I know for sure,
Someday, somewhere we shall meet again,
And our friendship shall never cease……………………….

THE PARTING GLANCE!!

2010-12-16T13:29:00.002+05:30

The parting glance!!

Alas, It was time to part,

I realized deep in my heart,

I would never see my buddies again,

And also no drug could ease this pain,

They had come to bid me goodbyes,

At the airport with teary eyes,

I went numb, I didn’t feel like going,

Coz my soul I was leaving behind,

I hugged everybody present there,

Saying to each, I’ll miss you, take care,

Accepting cards and notes sentimental,

And many other parting gifts too,

Every small step away from them I took,

With moist eyes at everyone did I look,

That parting glance made me forlorn,

It made me realize that henceforth I would be alone,

Before my eyes flashed the past few years,

I tried hard to wipe those tears,

But it was no use coz they came harder each moment,

Reminding me of the things i was going to miss,

They were the ones who cared for me,

They were the ones who always supported me,

Through thick and thin,

I sat in the plane, reminiscing,

Seeing me cry, the airhostess asked me,

Are you alright mister,

I meekly nodded to her,

But I knew deep inside I was dying,

I again remembered that parting glance,

Faces that I would mostly never see again,

Or maybe we would meet at someone’s wedding,

I would always be praying for that second chance,

I realized money can’t bring happiness,

If one has no one to spend it with,

I looked out; the plane had taken off,

And I knew, life would never be the same again………………….

THE CONTRAST!!

2010-12-06T18:30:00.003+05:30

The contrast!!

We were much better friends,
Three months ago,

What went wrong then,

Daily I wish to know,

We had promised that,

We would be friends forever,

How could we then drift apart,

Sadly I have no answer,

I admit I did a few things,

That hurt you, that angered you,

Yet how could you forget,

The little, nice things I often did for you,

Our bond was really strong,

And misunderstandings should have made it stronger,

Yet things just kept getting worse,

And before we knew, it was all over,

Is it that you found,

Better friends, more jovial company,

I wonder, is that why,

Nowadays you don’t need me,

I remember when I used to cheer you up,

And it gave me immense contentment,

To later see that cute smile on your face,

But now I miss the smile, the priceless moment,

We were so close, I vividly remember,

If ever I didn’t call you throughout the day,

I used to get your call at night,

Just to make sure I was okay,

But now my phone remains idle,

Whole day, as I keep staring at it,

Anxiously, with the hope that,

Your name will flash on it,

I hate this contrast,

We used to spend hours chatting,

But what’s happening in your life,

Now I barely know anything,

Strange things happen in life,

You were my only true friend,

And that’s why it hurts to know that,

Even this memorable phase had to someday end………………..

A SOLEMN GOODBYE!!

2010-12-02T14:42:00.000+05:30

A solemn goodbye!!

This is just a solemn goodbye,

To you, my beloved wife before I die,

As I sign off without tears,

Without sadness, without fears,

Many storms you helped me weather,

You were there by my side as a lover,

As a friend, in sickness or in health,

Till my very last breath,

I didn’t deserve so much love from you,

So pure, so virginal, so true,

To have found you is my good luck indeed,

Or maybe a result of some past deed,

You saw me conquer; you saw me rise,

I still remember the joy in your eyes,

The moment of pride on our faces,

When you saw me going places,

Your love was deeper than the sea,

But more importantly you were there with me,

When things began to crumble,

When we were in deep trouble,

You saw my rise, you saw me fall,

I thank you for helping me through it all,

You made sure I bounced back,

And gave me the courage I did lack,

You, my love, were the perfect wife,

The apple of my eye, the brightness of my life,

And it feels sad to know,

That our journey has to end; I have to go,

But somewhere deep down I believe,

In heaven we shall meet and relive,

All the moments we spent here,

Coz our love is eternal, and you will always be near………

REPENTANCE!!

2010-11-26T11:06:00.000+05:30

Repentance!!

Change is the law of life, they say,

But when everything’s going so great,

Why do we let things change through one grave mistake,

As the entire relationship is put to threat,

Why is there a moment of anger,

A moment of trauma, a moment of anguish,

I wonder, during these helpless the nights of insomnia,

How can happiness suddenly vanish,

We make mistakes unintentionally,

Yet they end up ruining everything,

No explanations work in this case,

As we hope time will heal everything,

Such a thing happened with me,

I made someone cry, I made her weep,

I tortured her callously, incessantly,

And gave her scars that run mighty deep,

Today I ask for forgiveness, my friend,

I did not mean to hurt you,

I beg you to give me a second chance,

Coz I promise I won’t ever betray you,

But why would you trust me again,

When I have broken your faith constantly,

Why would you believe me henceforth,

When I have lied to you perpetually,

Forgotten all the things will be,

That I did to bring a smile on your face,

Coz far greater sins I committed,

So I know, in your heart I don’t deserve a place,

Life has taught me a lesson,

Albeit in a very hard way,

I long for the past, please forgive me,

As without you, I am dying, every moment, everyday…………

TO MY FIRST LOVE!!

2010-11-10T10:59:00.000+05:30

To my first love!!

It’s been more than one year,

Since I have written a poem for you,

It feels weird now, but I wanted to,

Write one, coz it’s your twenty-first birthday,

I know birthdays don’t excite you,

And that has perplexed me since long,

As I perpetually wonder why the birthday song,

Just doesn’t bring on a smile to your face,

I want to change that,

I really do; hence I am writing this,

For you, for our friendship, for the memories,

And also for my dreams that couldn’t become a reality,

Ever since I first saw you in college,

I was infatuated by your beauty,

But I fell in love with you only,

When I saw the angelic side of you,

For me, you were the epitome of beauty,

Your eyes, your smile, your grace,

I could have spent years gazing at your face,

And I had truly given my soul to you,

I vividly remember the smile I got,

When you complimented the poems I wrote for you,

And I started dreaming about you,

Every moment, every day,

But then a fateful day came when you said,

That you didn’t have feelings for me,

It hurt me initially, but then you helped me,

Move on, as a true friend,

The barriers were broken, the awkwardness disappeared,

As we saw our friendship blossoming,

It was love I had till then kept seeking,

But this was as memorable as the dreams I had,

Today to you I wish to say,

I may not have ended up being your boyfriend,

But in you, I have found my sweetest friend,

And I’d always be there for you; anytime, anywhere……………….

p.s- Happy Birthday!! God bless you!!

I WON'T LET YOU DIE!!

2010-11-04T14:47:00.000+05:30

I won’t let you die!!

A guy’s fiancé suffered a near-fatal accident. Through this poem he is assuring her that everything will be alright..

I am going to die,

Crying, she said to me,

I held her hand and said to her,

Trust me; I won’t let you die,

We have promises to keep,

We have dreams to fulfill,

We have places to see,

We have worlds to create before we sleep,

I won’t let you go away,

You know I can’t live without you,

You know I need you a lot,

Every single moment, every single day,

How can you give up so easily,

When you are such a strong-willed person,

When you know you have the courage to fight back,

How can you then submit so meekly,

I want you to know,

God wants us to be together,

He wants to see us having babies,

He wants to see our children grow,

Why do you feel your end,

Is so near, when you know,

I am there by your side,

Trying to protect, trying to defend,

Baby, you are going to live long,

We are going to spend fifty years together,

It’s all pre-written, it’s fate,

So be positive, be strong,

I am always there with you,

And soon we’ll get out,

Far away from this dingy room,

Back to the world, waiting to welcome you,

You are my adorable cutiepie,

My heart, my mind, my soul,

You will get well soon, my love,

Coz I can’t and I won’t ever let you die…………..

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ??

2010-11-03T17:37:00.002+05:30

Who do you think you are??

This poem is based on reality, yet is fictional !!!

You crept into my mind,

Every single night,

And showed me the visions,

Of a future bright,

You hypnotized me,

With your innocent eyes,

And enchanted me with your innocent smile,

It transported me to a paradise,

An angel I thought you were,

As so easily, I fell in love with you,

I wanted us to be together always,

I would even have died for you,

This was the feeling I had,

A few months ago,

Then things changed, and you changed,

And this feeling vanished, before I did know,

Now your name reminds me of,

The pain you gave me,

Your face reminds me of the bruises,

The heartbreaks you gave me,

Who do you think you are,

To treat me like I hardly existed,

And then to apologize for everything,

And next day you talk with me as if nothing happened,

Is it even worth forgetting everything,

Just for the sake of the times we spent,

Is it worth pardoning you,

Only to be left heartbroken the very next moment,

Who gave you the authority,

To misuse my love, to lie to me,

Today I want you to know one thing,

I don’t need you anymore, so just go away from me,

I hope someone, someday,

Treats you the same way you did,

I’ll henceforth only beg to God,

To give you sadness, pain and unstoppable tears indeed………………………

I WON'T PROMISE!!

2010-10-28T19:49:00.001+05:30

I won’t promise!!

I won’t promise to solve all your problems,

But I promise I’ll never let you face them alone,

I may not be there to share your joys,

But I’ll make sure you never weep alone,

Trust me to stand by you,

When the going is extremely tough,

Trust me to always be your guide,

When the path is extremely rough,

Have faith in me to help you,

Cross every hurdle you come across,

Have faith in me that I’ll come,

To console you, if god forbid, you suffer any loss,

I may lack the talent,

To make you laugh like some others do,

But I know I have the will,

To make sure a smile never leaves you,

My friend, you have all the noble characteristics,

That one could possibly even dream of,

I wish I could be as nice as you,

But that’s impossible, not just far off,

I know things haven’t gone as you desired,

That’s why I see you at times, sullen and morose,

But one thing I assure you,

This dark phase will soon come to a close,

I won’t promise to help you always,

I won’t even promise I’d be a good friend,

Coz my dear, it’s implicitly understood,

That I’ll be there for you, till my days end………………

TO THE CUTEST BROTHER EVER!!

2010-10-26T13:43:00.000+05:30

To the cutest brother ever!!

In my opinion, a family can never be complete,

Without an adorable sibling,

For five years I felt something was missing,

Then one day you were born and my life became blissful,

You are the cutest brother anyone can have,

Over the years, in you I found the perfect playmate,

You are a cheerful person, a great companion,

As in u, I have found someone to tease and have fun with,

At times you do irritate me a lot,

With your immature behavior,

And I hate it when I am forced to cater,

To your needs and your countless tantrums,

I feel jealous when you are given preference,

When you are pampered without an end,

As I wish I were the younger brother,

With infinite freedom and no responsibilities whatsoever,

Today on your fifteenth birthday I wish to say,

It’s high time you gain some maturity,

Coz an year later, when I’ll be gone,

It will be upto you to look after our parents,

Adolescence is a time when,

You will be confused and most vulnerable,

So when in doubt, never hesitate,

To ask us for help and advice,

You have a promising life ahead,

Don’t take decisions that you will regret later,

Spread joy to one and all,

And always strive to make your and others’ lives better,

I thank you for being the best brother,

I thank you for all the good times we shared,

May you get all you desire,

Love you bro, I’ll always be there for you……………………………

I REMEMBER THE TIMES WHEN....!!

2010-10-17T14:52:00.000+05:30

I remember the times when….!!

I remember the times when,

We used to meet so regularly,

As for the weekend to come,

We used to wait eagerly,

I remember the times when,

We had to meet in secrecy,

And the common excuses, the lies,

That your parents bought so easily,

I remember the times when,

We had walked by the sea,

It was the best evening of my life,

And that’s when I decided, with you, I always want to be,

Your sweet smile flashes each day,

In front of my eyes,

As I feel like quitting this job and running to you,

Coz for me, just your love will suffice,

I know we talk on phone a lot,

But it’s your hand I want to hold,

And give you a hug each day,

And create dreams with you, hitherto untold,

I remember the times when,

We made promises with each other,

That we will be by each other’s side,

Come what may, always and forever,

Long-distance relationships,

Can, at times, be so frustrating,

I wish every moment I could spend with you,

Coz now I realize, loneliness is a terrible feeling,

I know we are together, and our souls are one,

But I perpetually miss your physical presence,

Baby, I want to be where you are,

Coz you are my life, and of my existence, the essence…………….

A POEM OF REMORSE!!

2010-10-15T19:52:00.000+05:30

A poem of remorse!!

You must have obviously dreamt,

Of giving birth to a child,

Obedient, caring, adorable,

Who will make your life memorable,

You must have prayed for a child,

Who will never hurt you,

Who will care for you always,

Who will be there with you always,

But as I look at myself, at my life,

I realize I have been a disgrace,

A wild brat, whom none could tame,

One who has always brought you shame,

You must have had big dreams for me,

But I faltered time and again,

I misused your trust, your love, and freedom,

As all I gave you was irritation and boredom,

I hurt you a lot, I know,

I have been the worst son, i am aware,

Uncaring, selfish, utterly obstinate,

But I repent all that I have done; I hope it’s not too late,

Mom, I am sorry for all my past sins,

For every single time that,

I was rude to you, told you countless lies,

And so often brought tears to your eyes,

I know my sins are unpardonable,

But someday I wish you would forgive me,

My heart’s filled with remorse and, today,

I vehemently proclaim, I’d henceforth be there for you, come what may………………

SELFLESS FRIENDSHIP!!

2010-10-10T15:03:00.001+05:30

Selfless friendship!!

I may ignore you or hurt you sometimes,

But one thing you ought to know,

Wherever you are, wherever you go,

Anytime you seek a true friend,

I’ll be there, till my days end,

It’s wrongly said that only love is selfless,

My friendship is undoubtedly, selfless too,

I mean it when I pompously say,

I’d do anything for you,

Anytime, anywhere, any day,

You can always count on me,

To relieve you from any kind of pain,

To protect you from the torrential rain,

I’ll always be there when you are feeling down,

To convert into a smile, your frown,

It does hurt me a lot,

Every time you say you are sad,

Or when you call yourself unlucky,

It makes me feel immensely bad,

As I pray for your woes to permanently vanish,

There are very few examples,

Of selfless friendships; but you and me,

Someday an epitome would surely be,

Today I wish yet again, for your joy eternal,

And I also want to tell you, you are truly special……………

THE FIRST KISS!1

2010-10-06T17:46:00.000+05:30

The first kiss!!

This poem is a work of fiction!!

Nothing beats the feeling,

One gets after the first kiss,

I had waited for long for mine,

Finally, it happened, and the feeling was divine,

We were walking on the beach,

Waves splashing droplets of water over us,

Our bodies close, arms around each other,

A moment truly to cherish forever,

The moment did seem perfect,

The locale even better,

Love and romance was in the air,

We signalled to each other, as about the onlookers we didn’t care,

We got into a position that we had seen,

Countless times in movies,

I then gently kissed her forehead,

And towards her lips I slowly moved ahead,

It was gentle in the beginning,

Her tender lips barely touching mine,

But then it became vibrant and a bit more fun,

As our tongues joined in the action,

It was a moment of sheer passion,

Our eyes were closed, and the world didn’t exist,

My hand gently on her cheeks did rest,

And she kept fondling my hair in a manner she knew best,

After what seemed like an eternity,

We slowly opened our eyes,

Our lips gently parted,

And our kiss had left us blushing, our souls ignited,

I always wanted my first kiss to be special,

But never had I thought it would be this memorable, indeed,

It’s always the biggest pleasure when dreams come true,

That moment was just the best, and everyday I thank God coz i have you…………

I WISH!!

2010-09-19T14:09:00.000+05:30

I wish!!

I wish I could be in his place,

And see the same joy on your face,

The glow you have in his presence,

That, when you are with me, I can never sense,

I wish someday you would utter,

My name with love, as if it were,

Your charming prince you were calling,

But this is all so futile dreaming,

I daily wish you would let him go,

Coz we’d be the best couple, I know,

With you, I wish I could spend a whole day,

As my smile will then never fade away,

I wish of a kiss at midnight,

On new years’ eve, amidst celebration bright,

A moment that will be truly special,

Something we would cherish till time eternal,

I wish you would come with me,

On long rides, as we shall see,

Places adventurous and exotic,

Desolate and truly romantic,

I realize, with him your heart does belong,

But it is you I’d always long,

In this birth, I may not be the chosen one,

But you’d always be my perfect woman,

You will be immersed in my heart always,

For you are adorable, in a myriad ways,

I will forever live for you,

But sadly, I can never have you……………..

APPREHENSIVE!!

2010-09-17T19:31:00.001+05:30

Apprehensive!!

A poem that describes the frame of mind of most CAT aspirants…!!

I have many dreams and I constantly desire,

To be a part of the hallowed elite,

To carve a niche for myself,

To keep getting better; to keep flying higher,

But as the day keeps getting nearer,

My heart’s filled with a thousand apprehensions,

I don’t seem to have any idea,

Of what is going to happen further,

I know this is going to be a gargantuan test,

Of my perseverance and endurance,

There are times I feel like quitting,

But I can’t; I want to win against the very best,

There are times my mind doubts itself,

It wonders if it can handle,

Such intense and sustained pressure,

Which can even lead to destruction of the self,

God, give me the strength; today I bow before thee,

I don’t know a single hymn or prayer,

Neither do I regularly visit the temple,

But in these testing times, please stick with me,

I’ll put in the efforts and leave the rest,

To you, for you are omniscient and all mighty,

Help me get rid of the apprehensions and fears,

And make me believe that you have stored for me, the best………………

I WANT YOU BACK!!

2010-09-14T18:30:00.001+05:30

I want you back!!

There was a time you said,

I make you smile everyday,

Things have drastically changed, now you say,

I merely depress you,

There was a phase when you showered me,

With innumerable compliments, for you I was adorable,

But now my presence makes you miserable,

I am a stranger; just a nobody,

I wonder why you despise me so much,

Why is that I don’t exist,

But you’ll always figure in the list,

Of the most important people in my life,

I truly care for you, I still love you,

Daily I want to rekindle our romance,

Daily I pray for that one chance,

To spend a few moments with you, my love,

I just can’t move on, however hard I try,

When I am engrossed in my work,

Your thoughts engulf my mind, it goes berserk,

I just can’t forget you,

My heart is filled with a hundred memories,

More importantly, with many a thousand desire,

The flame has metamorphosed into an uncontrollable fire,

As I crave for you every minute, every second,

Every couple I see on the road,

Reminds me of the times we spent,

And of all the places where we went,

And it brings tears in my eyes,

Why did you have to go so far,

Daily I want to rekindle our romance,

Daily I pray for that one chance,

I love you a lot; wish I could have you back……………….

BRIDE-SEARCH!!

2010-09-12T16:28:00.004+05:30

Bride- search!!

For an year or so in life,

I have been searching for the one,

And I have made a list of qualities,

That I want to see in my wife,

I have met many a prospective bride,

Some really good looking,

Some really decent, and comely,

And to force me to marry, my parents have tried,

But somehow I can’t generate any feeling,

In my heart, for them,

As my heart still resides with someone else,

My ex- girlfriend; to me, she’s everything,

Her face comes before my eyes,

With her I had envisaged a future,

Yet one day she disappeared,

I kept calling for her yet she ignored my helpless cries,

It is her I felt the most comfortable with,

Her presence always managed to bring out,

The mischievous child within me,

And it’s her I still dream of spending my life with,

My mind drifts to a time divine,

When we had walked on the beach, holding hands,

We were the perfect couple, everyone said,

And now I miss her badly; I wish she were still mine,

I keep dreaming of that pretty lady,

Then suddenly I am brought back to reality,

By the sound of yet another prospective bride,

Who’s sitting, smiling in front of me,

I just can’t forget the things long gone,

Three years ago, I was so sure of,

The woman I was going to marry,

Yet today the unending search for my wife is still on………………….